2 weeks

It is holidays
yay or not to yay?
i am just
i feel heavy
i feel like school is to hectic

fuck you internet you beautiful bastard

well i am in one of those states where i feel numb

i dont know what to feel, i cant tell weather i am sad angry depressed even happy

i think i like tragedy, i feel like it gives someone personality in its own sick way
i tend to think up fucked up stories

like my lucy sky diamond one

Its about this girl who at about 7 her parents were hippies (typical of me) and well they had an overdose and embarrassed social services took her away and her parents wanted them to tell her she was dead she was then adopted into a wealthy family of 5 sons the family wanting another daughter
Lucy felt like she never really belonged and she didnt really treat her adoptive family as a family and she falls in love with one of her brothers and they begin an affair
they feel like its wrong although they arent related and she leaves the house in a sort of a gap year with her band, a gay drummer, an asian teenage runaway and a beardy man who is nick named jesus. The brother finds another lady to hide his secret but continues the affair, she eventually purposes and he excepts feeling like the relationship with lucy is wrong. and somehow lucy finds her parents begging her lover saying "see we are not brother and sister anymore" but he again rejects cause they are in to deep, in a state of depression she has an overdose

another story i thought of was "Ribbons" its about a gang of private school living enigmatic lives and has the infamous mark of wearing a ribbon in their hair. the queen bee being Carmen oh and i based the stories on Lana Del Reys Album ahahahah
and way i though of 5 main characters, i just felt like 5 is a good number ahaha, but i imagined it a 5 part series each book consist of each girls life in the same time span but from their point of view and yeah.
The first book would be this new girl who is introduced into the group, and Carmen the last book.
it revolves mainly on Carmen who is the most fucked up.
She lives in a rich household yet broken, her father is very corrupt and typical business man always away on trips and having affairs but her mother is to busy to notice anybody.
Carmen is then looked after her older brother, very flamboyant, and well is gay. He is a woman trapped in a mans body and treats Carmen as his doll. He always tells her "if i were a girl...." "youre lucky you are a girl" and he always lectures Carmen to dress and act a certain way (saying thinks like if i were a girl i would take advantage of men, they would be my puppets, sexy and mysterious) and she never really listens to him, oh and he loves ribbons and womans clothing. After coming out of the closet his typical strict father is a homophobe, tells him off and disowns him. Her brother then kills himself with Ribbons (ribbon noose) with Ribbons tied everywhere all over his body. Carmen finds the body, no one cried at his funeral beside carmen, she takes the Ribbons and constantly wears them and she becomes the girl her brother wants her to be. From then on she became extremely distant from her friends and becomes friends with those who are willing and fucked up as her. She also very sexual and promiscuous, who seeks out married men (she wants to fuck up peoples lives as revenge from herself) she also falls in love with her 30 year old art teacher who is married. When he first laid eyes on her he was instantly intrigued, she found her stunning and wanted her to be his muse. his first words to her "my god you are beautiful"

Another character i though of is a goth chick, i havent thought of a name, for now lets call her Joy. She is quiet and a kleptomaniac. Her personal life revolves around her traumatic mother who and become slightly insane after the death of her father. Although she goes to a private school she is poor after her fathers death her mum doesnt work but just stares out of the window waiting for him to come home. Joy constantly steals things from people homes and sells them of gives them to her sister who keeps up the income. how? well of corse she is a prostitute, a "high end one" so her sisters ways gives Joy money and he sister (lets name her Hope) tries to subtly convince joy into the life of a call girl.

The new girl (Rain) moved from a pervious town where she was bullied, she is noticed by the group because on the first day she wore her "lucky ribbon" to school, as she enters and everyone stares at her and then is bumped into by Joy who steals her wallet without her noticing it. During the school day people inform her to remove the ribbon but she doesnt, people reveal rumours about the ribbons. Soon after when she gets home the 4 girls arrive at her house to return the wallet and test her if she is appropriate for the group. pushing her to the limit where she snaps at Carmen and Carmen accepts her into the group. Rain is short tempered because of her being bullied it forced out an inner anger but mainly innocent. Oh and i chose her cheesy name because at her old school she was taunted with the song "rain rain go away come again... never" she is also a virgin in many ways she doesnt have a corrupt personal life as much as the other girls but she has an older brother around his 20's who attracts Carmen, another reason for her addition to the club

I wanted each character to have different personalities in a alcohol, sex and drug driven lives. The other 2 i thought of is Abigail, a highly Christian although doesnt act it. And one sleek nerd who is a major whore and dresses like a sexy librarian claiming "every man wants to sleep with their teachers or boss or whatever, and i bring that to the table" she is extreamly smart and is the computer nerd. I havent thought the last 2 characters out yet, but i'm getting there!