im obsessed w my bf again

this is very tiny but makes me smile

andrew had been sleeping over at my house coz he has a lot of mozzies there

ive been offering my house to him but he doesnt want to sleep over

and then i receive a call from andrew and he is whinging like

"its soo hooooooottt" like a baby - he doesnt even say hi or hello just ITS HOOOT

and im like fuck off ur not staying over you rejected me

and he was like "fine, bye"

and he hung up on me and then i instantly call him back and he is like


"its soo hooooooottt" like a baby - he doesnt even say hi or hello just ITS HOOOT

and im like of course you can stay ova
:) idk i love him

i just love being around him and listening to him and just

companionship <3 

also one morning when i was getting ready for work (and he was over)
he was like wow is that how you dress to school
and im like yeh
and he was like hrumph dont look too good (for the boys at the school)

thats the closest im ever going to get to a compliment from him

but it still made me smile :)

i think he likes it when i look a little professional hahah
compared to my sluttier outfits

I miss my grandma


i woke up at 6:58 AM very sad very depressed so i started to write

how could you be so cold yet feel so warm?

Ive got big  blue tears running out my eyes
straight to my thighs
i want to die
i want it all to end here
but then i feel you near
your smell, your embrace
get me out of this place
and then you do
because its you

so you think youre better than everyone?
But youve got it all wrong
now all youve got is a song
if you heard youself speak
when you peak
when you preach
your mold begins to shatter
the holes begin to crack
i need you back
with the gold, keeping you together
your flaws shining
you let your wings weather
then you begin climbing
bruised hands
bruised soul
the real you is old
who are you?where youve been?
hidden, unseen
i need you
i miss you
not this fool
with too much pride
go die
dont hide
be you, be true
the you i knew
not this phoney
if only-
you saw your potential
your light
its detrimental
for you to take flight