Sunburnt Lips

I was meant to start cleaning my room at 8.35, next thing i know its 10:20

How in heck does this happen?

Hi, its Maria 

i havent blogged in a while frankly because i dont want to and ive been really lazy

life, what is it even?

i have been napping like crazy and to be frank doing nothing but hanging out with Andrew, bumming around and wasting money. He mustve been really bored while i was gone, ive never known him to be so quiet, i kept chatting away about queensland whilst he kept thinking of things to say except for "i legit did nothing" 

hahaaha i really missed him while i was away

ANYWAYS queensland was really good, only flaw were wet feet, sticky hair, and a constant fear of having my phone around water (which was everywhere..) which only meant i couldnt take any photos

the one i was most upset that i couldnt take was when the sun was setting, hellen and i were on the dock, right in front of the boat leaning on the rails, the water was a blue-ish green and the flying fish would spray out of the water out of nowhere, i looked up and the sky was a purple blue, there was a distant island, right at that  moment it the moon hung above it and a sail boat drifted by

i felt so surreal, not to mention the whitehaven beach 

i could just die there

it was indescribable 

everything was ..

i was so relaxed, as i lay on the boat in the sun as i felt the sea rock me i couldnt think of anything besides how happy i was, i forgot what it was like to be stressed, i forgot about uni and my family and my room and i even forgot about andrew it was weird

this was the only thing going through my mind "    "

yep, nothing, i couldnt think of anything to fixate on

man, i wish i was there again, scuba diving, snorkeling, swimming, paddle boarding, laughing, singing, watching, riding, napping, splashing, hiking. 

sitting on the front corer of the boat with my feet out having water splash on my toes as someone applies sunscreen on my back

IT WAS JUST MAGICAL

i was what i needed, it really was

man i love the beach, no regrets that trip, no regrets 

Oh and to top it off, i went into a book store and found alice in wonderland and through the looking glass, a 1979 version, hardcover for 50c, what was even better was that i found the outsiders, a book that i have been meaning to read and buy for about a year for, wait for it, 50c!!!

i finished it the day after i got it, i couldnt put it down and i didnt want to finish it, i swear to god the last few days were, just, i cant, guys im really happy, i really am, i feel like myself again, my high school self, where i didnt worry about anything and felt like living is the best thing to do

i havent gymed in a while and i dont care

i i i i i i am sooooo happy

Thank you Queensland

Thank you Powerplay

Thank you Sun

Thank you for reminding me that i am still me

photo tyme

books

soo faded

sun beams fukya

airlie beach more like airlie bae

passed out from happiness 

boat home sweet boat home

\\

nacho lunch #yumz

idk i just thought this was cute hhahaha

breakky / diabetes 

ugh best combo ever, choc chip cookie dough and mint choc chip

tan man

being tan with this man





i had more to say but don't feel like saying it

maybe if i see you ill tell you

i have work tmr

back to reality i guess

• Saturday : work
• Saturday night : work party
• Sunday : work
• Sunday night : Wilsons party 
• LOL GL M8

list

i dont know if you can tell but i love writing lists, it soothes men, i just feel like now i know where i am going and it calmsssss me

i am currently in a panic mode, my assignment has been extended to friday and i dont even know if i can make that deadline

my dad out of no where told me i need to pack before tomorrow

wtf wtf wtf wtf wtfwkfgn wirlgubyhjr



WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO

I HAVE THE ESSAY,
BLOG POST,
AND REFLECTION DUE
NOT TO MENTION THE LECTURE SLIDES
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

issues

I'm depending on people too much again

So for breakfast today i had 

1. cereal
2. milk tea
3. a single slice of toast with butter

i really need to stop doing that, depending on other people

i dont mind depending on one certain person because they depend on me too

but i feel like im adding pressure on people who don't need it

i think during the study period i am going to focus on myself, and my family as well as my studies

i really want to get back on a diet, and by diet i mean just eating healthy 

i can really feel the bad food now and i miss being less bloated LOL

i am meant to be studying but i just wanted to blog before i go out

i am going to go to customs

i really hope i get a car, i really hate depending on wynee for her car for gym, i mean she doesnt need me to drag her down, i must really be a pain sometimes

i also need a car for teaching, i am going to go, for a full 4 weeks, to a school to teach

holy shit i am actually going to become a teacher

its scary

anyways am really a horrible and selfish person, my family really does not deserve to have me around

reasons

1. i am never around
2. i am not helping with the new house
3. i complain
4. i buy food but never eat it and waste money
5. my rooms a fucking mess

im just really bad

oh also, i really need to stop bitching, holy fuck, its all i do now... i took a step back and i felt sour, i keep trying not to but i keep letting my mouth run

yep another issue i have

i let my mouth fucking run, i am not trustworthy man fuck 

i need to fix myself

also, everything feels surreal, nothing feels like home anymore you know

i used to feel safe in my room but now i just feels like another place to sleep

sleep has been hard due to the heat

and the mess

once saturday hits i am going to pack and shit yeah

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

 I JUST WANT MY LIFE TO BE TOGETHER FUCK

ok ok okokokokokookookokokokkokookookk

no more complaining, lets do my work

emily dickinson and edith wharton here i come 

you get that look in your eyes and im done

that look - flume

wilough

hi im distracted and i totally have a willow smith obsession right now

https://soundcloud.com/dhatu

she is so talented

https://soundcloud.com/kittycash/willow-smith-8


can't handle


everyone should listen to her music

i also did my timetable

i;m doing all education courses

im pretty sure im doing curriculum stuff

ily

 Can you see the words rolling off my tongue, you got the touch baby because you're the one. I can taste the smoke rolling off your lips, I inhale, see the stars and then I smell your kiss. Show me, show me your galaxy.

 

a e p s

today i scrunched myself in a ball and exclaimed, "uni hurts"

its true tho it hurts

two more weeks until this semester is finally done and i dont have time fuck me dead i want to die

i have a 3,000 word reflection due and it is 60%

and 4 days later i have a major essay, 40% and 2500-3000 words

can i just say its technically 2 days after because i have work

gosh im in panic mode, help help


not to mention i have a build up of shifts and i have my uni performance tmr and i have to get up at 5 am and fuck

i cant gym or eat healthy

after the major essay i have peer review and 6 blog post which i havent started

no time no time no time

WHY CANT THEY JUST CALL SAM IN JESUS


i nned a hug
and my mum is being a bitch

and my dad is stressed

which makes my mum a bitch

which makes my brother as dumb fuck

and my other brother is just a lazy shit

and my room is messy

which i try to clean

but no time

and people wont stop talking to me

and the accountant took $60 away from me

and everything is so expensive

and my fucjk i cannttttttttttttttttttt

monday
performance

tuesday
drive to hospital and study

wednesday
study

thursday
lecture
study

friday
reflection due
study

saturday
work

sunday
work

monday
tut
study

tuesday 
study
major essay due

wednesday
work

thursday
blog post
work

friday
blog post due

saturday
freedom

until the poetic test











goodnight

Boy in the striped shirt

The world has a really weird way of working out

Sometimes it is even stranger

I completely forgot my work phone in my butt pocket and didn't realise until it was too late to have it returned

the next day, which is today

i went back to work to return it, impulsively walking out the door to the parramatta train, not even finishing my cereal i sped out the house because the next train was in 15 min

After the train was safe and sound i rushed into the first train that left for central for uni

i sat behind this cute guy with a stripped shirt

he looked pretty old and i like to make up stories about strangers i see

especially on train rides or if im waiting for someone

its fun and makes the rides faster

i stared at the back of his head wondering what he did in his life and before you knew it, i ended up at central, where he got off too

without a rush i jogged in my uncomfortable boots to the unsw bus stop, and i noticed he was lining up as well, my story of him changed,

he wasnt that old, i guess i was wrong

i wondered what he did at uni

we sat next to each other but on different seats, one knowing the other was there

i looked at him now and then and laughed at the coincidence, but not out loud of course, im not (that much) of a freak

as i made my way slowly to uni i sat with my group partner outside of our lecture theatre and we discussed our project

and i noticed he walked pass my table, weird

and i told her the story

as i lined up outside for my american literature lecture, he was there too

i never ever noticed him before

i just stared, startled at the coincidence

he looked at me too, knowing and wondering how i came about

it was weird

and that was my story of the boy in the striped shirt

maybe i'll see him next week,

probably not

Before I go to bed

I have to wake up at 6 am tomorrow and I am going to be driving for an hour to the city which is going to be terrifying not to mention I don't know how to reverse park in my mums car!!

I've been really annoyed lately 

I don't know why

I feel bothered

 

My rooms messy again and I don't know how

I feel like I don't have control of myself

I might just be freaking out about my essay and I'm really behind in uni

I just

I don't know what I want

I feel stuck in this domestic sludge

What happened to me?

My dreams of wanting to be a star? Be big?

Maybe everyone wants fame so desperately it just turns me off??

I want to just sit and stare at the world so I can feel like I'm not apart of it

Then I stand up and go because I'm late for something or have something to attended to

Man life is dullllllll

IT'S SO DULL

I WANT TO DIE

I WANT MY TIME BACK

I JUST WANT TO DO FUCK ALL

this might be coming from going to cabra library with drew and huynh today, it was nostalgic just like the hsc daysssss

The sun was high

I wore a dress

 

I just want to dieeeeeeee

P.s. the only thing I can think of is how I'm going to renovate my new room, it's the only thing I'm looking forward to in life

That and the Summer break <3 

I just want to feel like life is going somewhere

What happened to my dreams man?

Bedroom inspooo

I literally just followed a shit load of interior design instags, I really want my room to look great!

Oh! And I went to this girls party and she had the best fucking room no joke

Ok good night! I love you guys!

RE: life

Wrapz

I've been listening to a lot of rap and U.O.E.N.O.

hahah 

So currently my favourite rappers include, in no particular order

• Tyler The Creator
• Earl Sweatshirt
• I like Snoop Dogg but not as a rapper more as a person
• Childish Gambino
• Kendrick Lamar
• ScHoolboy Q
• Chance The Rapper
• And of course Biggie Smalls

I dont know why i have this sudden genre change but it's just really nice to listen to when i, angry

all the anger and sadness and wanting to dance at the same time?

How could you not want to listen 2 dat shie

Ok so videos to strike conversation

Gold

Chet Faker

This video slips is so hypnotic, i mean look at their thunder thighs

i mean they must be some serious rollerskaters man

I like how at the end [[Spoilers]] when shes just luring you in 

and then Chet is just chilling in a car beside of a deer

like wut

but i think he is the best person ive seen life mainly because he mixes

the versions he creates of his songs live

its insane

its more dancey which is fucking perfect

you must see him ive

I'm planning to go to listen out ahhh!!

The Worst Guys

Childish Gambino ft. Chance the Rapper

This was the first song i loved in Childish Gambinos album

Chance being in it makes it better

The Video makes it a million times better

please watch it

If you really want to crave summer

fucking watch this, its so beautiful and chill

and theyre both so cute!

hehehe

Collard Greens

ScHoolboy Q ft. Kendrick Lamar

Well the only reason really that i am posting this song is because its my fav right now

ahahahah

I'm really digging the black hipster look

ScHoolboy and his bucket hats are so cute

i love him even more because he loves his daughter so much

on his instagram he has a pic of her smiling 

and the caption was 

"THis is wHy i Hate being a rapper"

Its so sad

But yeah the vid is so trippy and fun and KENDRICK IS IN IT

i love love love him

i think he would be my fav rapper tbh

anyways

at one point of the song 

When Kendrick starts 

around 1:58

You see maklmore or however you spell his name

how random

if you keep watching kendrick starts rapping slow

At around 2:12

there are 3 girls

who are beautiful

 Seeing girls like that really make me appreciate my skin tone

my whole life i hated being dark

even when i was a little girl

i wanted light skin blonde hair and blue eyes

i didnt know why that was

probs the bullying around highschool        

but now i truly love myself and my skin colour

today at the dymocks photoshoot the makeup artist said i had great skin

woo!

anyways

i want to look like those girls

i could never find the right colour for my skin because every makeup look i save or search for are for white women

Just wanted you guys to know im happy :)

about my skin colour

my life still sucks

lol

Reach for the stars so if you fall you'll land on the clouds - kanye west - homecoming

Break the Bank

I finally realise what I want

And it's money

I like to Instag stalk random people with much better lives than I do

I see all the food they eat, all the concerts they go to, all the clothes they buy, how classy they look and just everything I want

I want money

Money money money

I want my money

I want my mum to not be a bitch and take my money away from me

I want another job

A nice one, nice staff (please) 

Close together

Flexible hours

A boss who I'm close with and loves me

I want more piercings

I really want to travel

I want to taste great food and not feel cold when it rains harder than ever

I want $35 eyeliner printed on my eyelids making me look fierce

I want naked urban decay on my eyelids

I want my eyebrows to be on point

I want a tight wrap skirt that looks great on me while I'm in the club swaying my hips to a great song and my man hanging behind me

I want liquor and never chase that

I want to get to UNi hungover with a large bottle of water with lemon slices 

I want it to be hot

I want the sun on my face

I want to smile like I used to

I want a dog to hold

I want a plain simple room I can take plain simple selfies on

I want to read books with cool covers

I want $100 jackets that actually keep me warm

I want to go gym in non slip or too short wear, I want to pull myself up all proper

I want my abs to shine and back to FLEXZXXXXX

MOST OF ALL I want my thighs to slim down, remain thick but tighter and stronger

I want to dip on the dance floor with no struggle

I want the boys at the gym to look at me and see dedication and a sweet ass they wish they tapped during high school

(And never will!)

I want to hear down the grapevine how damn fly I am

I already like the fact that people from highschool know I'm different 

Telling me about things then saying "but that's not your thing is it?"

Like yeah nigga I have a thing that no one can touch

I want to be close with my mum again

I want her to look pretty

I want her to take selfies with me

I want her to feel pretty

I want to not have my new home a mess

I don't want a leaky roof

Noisy neighbours 

And no where to park

I want a garden

As previously stated 

A dog

A pantry

Carpet 

Garage

No over crowded rooms with things we don't need

Family portraits 

I want things to not feel so messy

You know who I love? Jens

I don't know why 

She makes you feel so special for being who you are

Why is that so hard for people to do?

I guess I do the same thing so I can't talk

Jess I totally understand what you mean with girlfriends

I need some girlfriends

I'm so glad I have my UNi mates, I was a bit hesitant about them all being girls but the more I look back at it the more i appreciate

I saw the worst in Sandy and Jens

 But they are the kindest most loyal girls you could ever meet

Weird isn't it?

Tbh I really don't know what I am anymore, have I finally figured out what has been wrong with me this whole time?

I think lately I've been feeling so solid that I lost what I was. A girl in pieces. 

I think I've been acting too mature

I need to let go

I need to find who I am again

I need to find it in jess and Collin

I need to find it in bobs

I need to find it in huynh and Eeh

I need to find it in Jens

I need to find it in everyone that used to look at my little pieces

Heck I need mother fuckin Chet back in my life, dear JESUS I must see Jahmika, Joanna

I think we need to see our past selves to really see our present a future self

Not a bad vomit of words for someone awake at 2 am aye?

Rose

I recently got my placement for education

i took a day off of uni today because i am behind work

like really behind and i still havent sont anything all day

now i really need to use my time more productively

Mondays, Uni 12-3

Tuesdays, Placement

Wednesday, Work

Thursday, 1-2 (i hate you american lit)

Fridays, 2-3 ( i hate you even more american lit)

Saturday, nothing

Sunday, nothing

i feel breathless

i'm also moving in two weeks

isnt that just scary? 

i feel really overwhelmed how quickly everything is getting i really want to get the fuck away i swear to jesus i just feel like nothing and everything is changing

The only thing making me feel less anxious is ScHoolboy Q and my Michael Jackson playlist

everything will be ok everything will be ok everything will be ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok 

fuck i want to go shopping, spend money and pretend like everything is good and easy and hapy fpr 10 seconds please.

Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit

Feeling lit, feeling light, 2 a.m., summer night

Hands on the wheel, uhh, fuck that

- ScHoolboy Q / A$AP Rocky - Hands on the Wheel 

fuck

coke

My cereal is all soggy because i was packing my lunch while eating :(



every mondays i, wilson, and osly take the train and bus to uni which is nice

i ran down Cabra station and saw them
i asked "are we going to do this every week??"
Osly said "yeah i was wondering where you were" (ngaw)
i noticed his can of coke in his hand
"Coke at this time?" (Mind you it was the morning!)
he told me he had dumplings
he had to pick between coke or ice tea
i completely understood him
i mean, we started talking about how certain food calls for certain drinks!
 we were just like, e.g. Dumplings or Lasagne
"People who drink it with water are fucked"
i mean seriously
"you need something to wash it down!"

So yeah

Interesting conversation topic aye?

so dont judge me you know my name not my story

It is currently 9:47 and i am about to get dressed for uni

I was meant to wake up at 8 today but i ended up waking up at 9

yet i still got ready on time

it takes me less than 15 min to get to the station, i know it takes me about 10 minutes but in some instances i would be late for the train so i added an extra 5

my train comes at 10:40 and i have to leave at 10:25

Sandy just replied to my text asking if i wanted a lift to uni

i feel like such an ass asking but shes a truthful girl, if she didnt want me there she would tell me

i sleep anyways so justin and sandy can do whatever they want hahah

she is leaving at 11

what should i do?

i'm in a train mood, you know? walking to the station on this bright sunny day and sitting in the train while the sun hits your face listen to music and pretending like youre in a music video


Maybe i just crave some alone time??

i love being alone /in public sometimes

everything is my pace, there is no rushing or slowing down i can listen to what i want and not strike conversations

i love talking to myself i guess

im the only person who knows me best (rephrasing a Frido Kharlo quote because i'm deep)

Man i love the flowers in her hair

http://www.bookdepository.com/Diary-Frida-Kahlo/9780810959545

this has been in my wishlest the longest time

i really wish that i can use my own money

i really really want to pay everyone back but my mum complains about my money and how i don;t try for youth allowance

so i signed up for it

and now she wont fill in her side of the paper work about how much she earns

i dont know why that matters i dont even use her money >:(((((


ok im getting a lift from Sandy

i should get dressed

i love you

byereeevujgjkugk

“Sometimes I feel like I’m not solid. I’m hollow. There’s nothing behind my eyes. I’m a negative of a person. All I want is blackness, blackness and silence.”

—	Sylvia Plath (Sylvia)

Lights

Shes so fucking hot, i cant stop listening to this song since spledour

i would do anything to touch her body

i just really glad that i have friends to study with now

i'm doing my assignment two week before the due date

i have a feeling this sem will be the sem for me


summer oh summer

lets hope the second half of the year will make this year worthwhile

i want lighter hair, darker skin

short shorts and just happiness



I'm more of the, trips to Florida
Order the h'orderves, views of the Water
Straight from the page of your favorite author
And the weather so breezy,
man why can't life always be this easyShe in the mirror dancing so sleazy, 

m: Why don't you ever tell me about Tafe??

e: Because i never see you

m: Yeah, i miss you, why haven't we been seeing each other!?

e: Andrew.

Sometimes

Sometimes, when youre blue, listen to angry rap

i was feeling a bit doom and gloom just then cassie

i was thinkg about the stuff i needed to do for uni and i think im finaly feeling the stress that Emily had been feeling haha

i have to read a play called Spring Awakening by a Wedekind

its really interesting and its pro-sex education which i really like

my lecturer explained the story and its full of rape loss sex and even a bit of homo to top it off
and my friend turned to me and was like "This play is so you"

HAHAH ???? WHAT

i guess they know im into that whole sex weird kill story thing LOL

My lecturer for my acting course was my tutor for my first ever drama class and he remembered me which was nice, he asked my how the theatre course is treating me

My lecturer for American Lit is again the same tutor from my first ever english course and she e-mailed me after i made an enquiry and she said "its lovely to have you in my classes again"

and that makes me wonder am i significant? do they notice EVERY student? or am i special?? haha idk


the girls i hang out with are Sandy, Kylie and Jessica

We all do Education and Theatre and Sandy and Jess do english as well
we have the same timetable

Today we all had subway and we sat outside bitching about the strange faces we see in Education

There is this one girl i never like, the one who wears fedoras and always puts her hands up to ask pretentious questions and speaks out loud in lectures then says "im just talking to myself" like NIGGA BITCH GTFO

We were talking about our placements and she had the nerve to ask
"Can i not go to a particular school? (i mean even the lecturer was baffled because why would you turn down a placement????) Like for example, i dont want to go to an islamic school because of my beliefs"


UMMM UNLESS YOU BECOMING A RELIGIOUS TEACHER WHICH YOURE NOT MISS I BRAG IM IN MUSIC, YOU DO NOT NEED TO FUCKING, UGHHH LIKE WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT QUESTION, ITS NO OFFENSIVE AND SHE SAID NO OFFENCE TOO LIKE MOTHER FUCKER. M O T H E R F U C K E R IS IT SO HARD TO SPEND 5 MIN AFTER THE LECTURE AND ASK THAT QUESTION YO SELF, I WOULD BE SO OFFENDED LIKE FUCK UP DUMB ASS UGH MAN SERIOUSLY


ok rant finished but man you have the fucking nerve like bro

But yeah its nice having a group to sit with in class, its funny how we are all asian tho its like, we stand out in theatre and english

i just kind of wanted to talk i guess

i was feeling a bit lonely tonight

maybe its the lack of gym??

its nice gyming with Wynee who am i kidding its fun and she gets me pumped haha


i know it might be weird but i kinda not want to wear a bra??

i kind of like the look idk idkkkkk its like nice i guess

but i think i would feel to uncomfortable

i have to read the scarlet letter

what else in life

idk i wish i was dead kinda mood


i have to wake up at 6:20 tmr to get ready for uni and then Justin is going to drive me there where Sandy and i (and jess too) are going to study from 9-2 where we have a lecture, go home

konk out

maybe gym (gotta do legs)

and just think about monday

goodnight champ

"across cultures, darker people suffer most. why?"

Andre 3000 at Lollapalooza

"thinking deeply about shallow sh#t."

Andre 3000 at Splendour 

i hate you

Unidays

It's 1:24 am and all I ate today was a meat pie and sunflower seeds

I know, it's really bad

The worst part is that I had a day off today and all I did was watch game of thrones

Not even bothered to eat

I love being a sloppy pig but I really need to get out that habit

And I know I know I haven't blogged in a while

Don't worry I have a post ready to tell you what I've been doing during the holidays

I had a heart to heart with my bro it was really lovely

I told him the realities of life and told him how I saw the world

It was a lovely chat

I have another day off tmr

I think my mums off work but I'm planning to go out

But I really need to get off my ass

I'm the worst

lately I've been in an odd stage of depression

I just feel like nothing is enjoyable

Except for one thing ;)

but seriously I loved splendour but before going to Byron it's like I'm never botherd

I just want to sit at home and sleep

I can't stop sleeping

I over sleep like crazy

Sometimes I think I need help

Happy back to uni

Habits

Let's talk about Habits

Except for the ones where I stay high all the time to keep you off my mind

But my holiday habits, the bad ones are kicking in....

It's 12:13 and I just woke up

I feel like shit but I wouldn't stop going back to bed

I'm staying awake for sure this time

I haven't blogged in awhile but then again I barely blog

It's my mums birthday today and me sleeping in means she went out without me so it's the perfect time to clean up the living room and kitchen for her

I have to do the dreaded today

Cleaning the dishes

I fucking hate cleaning the dishes, I hate that chore with a passion

Why can't we get a dish washer?

Oh wells! Life is life! 

I have a few things on and I know I'm going to make my mother mad

25- Today is her birthday so I'm going to do nothing and have dinner with the family

I'll put makeup on her and try to take another nice family Polaroid

26- Tmr I have the ska things and good god small club with Brit, Luke, ect. 

I really hope we leave early since I have work the next day, they promised we would so hopefully they'll keep that promise

27- The next day, as I said I have work and Chet faker! (Habits ;)) we would probs go home straight after since we are going to be tired as shit

28-Day after that, and this is kinda optional but Bens (a VSA guy i met at Yavins house) party, it seems big and more than 100 people are going, so I wanna get super fucked there with huynh, Eeh and I, hopefully more of the kik attend

29-Then after that I have Dikis Party, I'm probably going tidied by then and I hope I can sleep over, I hear it's crazy and I really want to go because it's the last time i will be seeing her

And the 30th, I think it's my parents 20th anniversary? But I'm not sure, I have to get back at my mum

So it's going to be like 5 days of sleeping in getting up and partying and so on

I'm really afraid about work, I am going to die

Not to mention my need to gym!

But whatever it's end of sem

I just have to make sure I don't rub my mum the wrong way during these days

Ok let's talk about the wind

Umm wtf wind can you not? 

Out of all these days I'm excited for the recovery day after everything

Fuck I have to drive as well! The inconvience is high!!!

Umm I finished my exam awhile a go in the library with Ems, Huynh and Drew, it was nice 

Ilets see..

When the blues were playing, instead of getting super drunk and watching the gme, I instead with Collin,  huynh, Ethan and bobs, we got drunk on wine and played the game of thrones board games, but ended up never playing it

A hahahah that was a really fun night

Another fun night was when I went over to Huynhs to play pictionary with of course huynh, Nancy, Cynthia, cole sand Jess

And in teams of 3 cole and I got way too excited about the game

Ahah

I feel like shit tho, I need to stop waking up late! 

I also went shopping with bobs

We so models

OH I TOTALLY FORGOT TO MENTION THAT IM GOING TO MOVE INTO A NEW HOUSE!

My parents bought a new house which is encouraging me to get my Ps

I am super excited, I found out on the day I took the photo above

I remember when I got home my brother was getting a new computer

The energy was high and everyone was excitd

It's a large piece of land and the house is a shit hole but there is so much potential

It was the house I've been waiting for my whole life! 

We can also get a dog~ (if it's free haha)

But golly gosh I am pumped as

“I destroyed my body for a peace of mind I never got.”

—

Unknown

4 am thoughts

I'm jut listening to some bobby brown and I'm all like hey man I wanna rap

Then j was thinking about 

What would I rap about

And then I was like what am I passionate about?

And then I was like education

Then I thought about my parents and their struggle 

And then I thought about the boat people

And then I was like

IM GOING TO WRITE A RAP ABOUT THW BOAT PEOPLE AND CALL IT THE ABBOTT PROOF FENCE OMG

 Goodnight 

throw back

gggggggggggggggggggggggg

tryin to suck me into a gay vortex but i refuse

“Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.”

—	Carl Sandburg

Little Bitch

I feel very depressed

my inability to get up and do shit is really bothering me :(
i feel stressed and i dont know why

stressed, depressed but well dressed aye?

my family and i are currently good

but its because i havent gone out in a long ass time because everyone is in exams

today i asked ethan to drive me to RTA and being the good friend he is, he did!
we went to go pick up huynh after and it was just like old times

e at the wheel, huynh in the back seat, right in the middle and me shot gunned and we are all laughing about god knows why

today huynh kept reciting game of thrones

i finally realised that it meant they were all fighting for the throne hahaha took me a while

anyway i have work tomorrow

and im wondering why i am up at 2am

i am so not bothered

for anything really

i need to study tho

i need to get my last assignment over and done with

i can do it, i know i can

i am going to go to uni on sunday

and probably cabra library on saturday?

at work i am going to write a to do list i swear

i recently changed my theme for my tumblr

i really love it

http://thugsondrugs.tumblr.com/

have a look!

i really miss summer dresses

i dont really know where i am going with this post, all i know it that i want to get shit faced and not care so much about growing up for a bit

i need to get my P plates ugh

my room is a fucking mess

i want to kill myself

i want it to just be clean

i want my work to be done i want everything to be ok

i want to be pretty

i want to wear summer dresses

i want the sun burning my flesh

i want goosebumps in the shade

i think i should change up my room over the holidays

ok i should probably go to bed

just to let you know i have a shit load of blog posts just like this

they usually end up in drafts cause they go nowhere

i just wanted to tell you

haha

man this blog post is shit

i love you guys

and i bought a cactus

 i also wanted to add more things to my list

• cut hair
• learn how to curl hair
• change room up
• get my p's
• write in my diary more
• clear out my laptop and use my imac more
• buy various cushions
• make my bed cover (probs with my mum)
• get new curtains
• (i just really want a new room)
• do something with my dad, i dont know what, maybe make something? a table? help re-design the living room? we just need to bond. 

“I miss how you wanted me.”

—	six word story, #18