So I like to use this blog as an indicator to where I am and who I am as person as i grow older and older.
And honestly at this point in my life I am so obsessed with Naruto it's not even funny.
I have become a full on weeb during the lockdown and I love it. I know i always had it in me probably because of my dorky brothers and my cousins who introduced it to me and I have finally given in and I am in love. The story and characters are just so captivating I can't stop thinking about them and what they have been through. I can tell that this show has shifted something in me. There are always show and music and experiences that shape who I am as a person and this experience has actually made me a happier person.
Over the past few months and not until recently have I felt like I am not mentally ill. Who knew an Anime could do that to me?
It makes me want to be a stronger person, so fight through all of my hurt and trauma and focus on my goals. I don't have a goal right now but I feel like I can do anything.
Maybe I am having a manic episode but on occasion where i question my mental illness or the mental illness of others I find myself thinking -
If I were to die today, would I be happy with my life in this current moment? Would I have an regrets, and the question is no.
Not until extensive therapy and soul searching have i felt that way.
I am extremely content with my life right now.
Maybe it is because I had KBBQ with my friends last night
maybe its because my coworker is complimenting me
maybe its because my friend is helping me with my resume
In times like this when i ask for help I am so grateful that there is someone waiting for me on the other line, cheering for me
that when I am a mess when I am drunk i know at the end of the day, they wont hate me for that, that i have people who love me for who I really am
just like naru- ok jokes
but seriously, i just wwanted to make a post about how i am during lockdown
and i feel like i finally remember who i was and who I am
the essence of who i will always be
and thats all thanks to my hard work
I am so proud of myself
and i should be
coz i am a boss ass bitch :)
like Madara- ok ill stop