Break the Bank

I finally realise what I want

And it's money

I like to Instag stalk random people with much better lives than I do

I see all the food they eat, all the concerts they go to, all the clothes they buy, how classy they look and just everything I want

I want money

Money money money

I want my money

I want my mum to not be a bitch and take my money away from me

I want another job

A nice one, nice staff (please) 
Close together
Flexible hours
A boss who I'm close with and loves me

I want more piercings
I really want to travel

I want to taste great food and not feel cold when it rains harder than ever

I want $35 eyeliner printed on my eyelids making me look fierce

I want naked urban decay on my eyelids

I want my eyebrows to be on point

I want a tight wrap skirt that looks great on me while I'm in the club swaying my hips to a great song and my man hanging behind me

I want liquor and never chase that

I want to get to UNi hungover with a large bottle of water with lemon slices 

I want it to be hot

I want the sun on my face

I want to smile like I used to

I want a dog to hold

I want a plain simple room I can take plain simple selfies on

I want to read books with cool covers

I want $100 jackets that actually keep me warm

I want to go gym in non slip or too short wear, I want to pull myself up all proper

I want my abs to shine and back to FLEXZXXXXX

MOST OF ALL I want my thighs to slim down, remain thick but tighter and stronger

I want to dip on the dance floor with no struggle

I want the boys at the gym to look at me and see dedication and a sweet ass they wish they tapped during high school

(And never will!)

I want to hear down the grapevine how damn fly I am

I already like the fact that people from highschool know I'm different 

Telling me about things then saying "but that's not your thing is it?"

Like yeah nigga I have a thing that no one can touch




I want to be close with my mum again
I want her to look pretty
I want her to take selfies with me
I want her to feel pretty

I want to not have my new home a mess

I don't want a leaky roof
Noisy neighbours 
And no where to park

I want a garden

As previously stated 

A dog

A pantry

Carpet 

Garage

No over crowded rooms with things we don't need

Family portraits 

I want things to not feel so messy





You know who I love? Jens

I don't know why 

She makes you feel so special for being who you are

Why is that so hard for people to do?
I guess I do the same thing so I can't talk

Jess I totally understand what you mean with girlfriends

I need some girlfriends

I'm so glad I have my UNi mates, I was a bit hesitant about them all being girls but the more I look back at it the more i appreciate

I saw the worst in Sandy and Jens
 But they are the kindest most loyal girls you could ever meet

Weird isn't it?


Tbh I really don't know what I am anymore, have I finally figured out what has been wrong with me this whole time?

I think lately I've been feeling so solid that I lost what I was. A girl in pieces. 

I think I've been acting too mature

I need to let go

I need to find who I am again

I need to find it in jess and Collin

I need to find it in bobs

I need to find it in huynh and Eeh

I need to find it in Jens

I need to find it in everyone that used to look at my little pieces

Heck I need mother fuckin Chet back in my life, dear JESUS I must see Jahmika, Joanna

I think we need to see our past selves to really see our present a future self







Not a bad vomit of words for someone awake at 2 am aye?