a broad understanding

(hint hint my title is a pun)

Traveling cassie, what a topic

i dont want to be here
tbh i dont want to be anywhere

but i want to be everywhere

ok cass we are going to have those 3 am chats i crave with someone new

a fresh

cause thats what i want to feel

see the same places

same people

same goddamn lectures i copp

i just cant help but think of salvation beyond australia

what triggered this want to freedom and get away

no it wasnt the lecture i got for going gay clubbing and coming home at 4 in the morning

oh did i forget to mention that cass

i got to dance with this guy

hes so pretty
too pretty to be true

but anyway

it was these two who made me want to fly

Frida is so beautiful

i wish i watched her closer when i was in art

she so amazing

i was watching documentaries on her and her husband

her husband is a famous mexican painter

he lived about 10 years of his life in france

thats where he was influenced 

tbh cass im feeling a bit stricken and angry cause i feel like im losing everything and everyone

and my eye wouldnt stop twitching today
and i didnt want to get out of bed

i wanted just to melt away and die and ive mistrusted many people and i feel stupid and i just cant keep my big mouth shut cause i love to brag and i hate myself sometimes

and travel right

i raelly want to get away

i imagine my future

a massive window

a view of a very victorian based town, free, isolated, a hint of trees and a lot of sun and columns and stone walls, bleak, beautiful

im simply just wearing a singlet and undies

im on a wooden floor of a massive fucking studio bedroom apartment

infront of me are a large aray of watercolour tubes and bloody good watercolour paper

by my side

a woman

with a fresh cup of coffee and a fresh young face, although she has large bags under her eyes from partying

she doesnt speak english

and i dont speak whatever the fuck she speaks

shes naked

and i watch her, she doesnt care, her body is lovely and appears breathtaking on my watercolour paper as i draw her while she swiftly moves doing everyday errands

i have an unlit cigg in my mouth and she helps light it up, grabbing herself one

everything would be perfect in that moment

lost by view

i can paint without thinking of anything or anyone

i can be properly and utterly selfish and i dont give a fuck, no guilt tripping just plain beautiful selfishness 

the plane ride to melb was horrible and utterly painful when it landed

but i would go through that pain a million more times just to escape this bloody place and these bloody people

but look at that

i can see the edge of the earth

you know what i realy want right now

a picture of me
no wait cass, im not that cocky

no longer incognito

and just smilling, happy, like, not a forced picture just me nothing everything is good

my parents give me such a heavy burden

and i feel horrible

my dream life right now is this

i tell my mum im sleeping over, shes scared, but ok with this

i call her, not fearing that shell pressure me to come home

i come home the next day and its ok

i come home at 11 pm another day

my mum ask me where ive been, and i honestly tell her everything about my day about my friends, my laughs, and sadness, and everything is just honest and shes ok with it, she likes my friends and shes happy im happy, im off to uni, to work, saving up to go somewhere else

 cant everything not be hard


i want to get away, get out of here


i feel sucky now

but then again its 4 am

kinda moody

just feel found when i want to be lost


i should sleep

omg its like a song now

talking about songs

king krule is amazing

let me travel, to milan, paris

just somewhere the people dont notice the beauty

someone in greece where there are stone walls with vines and open doors and home cooked meal and people who have a heart and secrets and a whole life of their own but they just walk past unseen like me

whats triggering this??

who knows

why cant i be oblivious

not perceptive in a stupid way

man i dont know

get me out of here

And everything hits you in the end
And spoils your thought stream
My heart got a hold of my head
And ripped it to its seams
 -King Krule - Bleak Bake