Bak 2 skool

First day of uni

It was mmmk

'twas alright 

Robert texted me and I met with him and Abel was on my bus so that was quick and then by the end of the English lecture we managed to get a hold of Jackson

The four of us headed down to roundhouse 

Had a little catch up especially with abels Japan trip! Super jealous!!

And we talked a lot about drawing

And they drew in my book 

This was jacksons lovely alien

Abel gave me a hand (haha whatever I found it funny)

And robby have me this fella

was sweet of them to draw

Then we played played pool

I was hella bad at it cause my stick thing was on the table and once I figured out that flaw I was kicking ass!

But Abel won (cause I was up against him) Jackson did show me the ropes but he had to shoot

And then Abel left after and I met with drew then Jess then Hellen then we I went lecture then I went home

I  very tired

That's all guys night! 

Any nigga can kill a man, that dont make you a real nigga, real is responsibility, real is takin care of your muthafuken family.-Real - Kendrick Lamar

Rent

Oh cass!! My parents are so adorable 

 I mean wow

They're just so adorable

I mean I wanted my mum and dad to take a photo together but my dad kept refusing

And he stood by the door to leave waiting for my mum

As my mum pegged herself at him to take a photo with him! Aw what cuties! This was the result

My mum always has this weird smile when I take photos of her and I don't like it cause she is so still so I make her laugh athen take a photo and she gets a smile like that! Pwah so cuuuuuuute

You stubby little freaks

Birthing this Lil bitch

I look like srs model 100% hardcore in that photo, this was at trinhs

Andrew finally let me on his shoulders

Tbh I'm getting kinda sick of shots, I mean, if I had "Maria's" it'll be ok cause it doesn't taste like shit and makes me want to throw up

I think when I go to drinking parties I might just chip in for food, but myself a bottle of wine, chug that and feel giggly the whole night instead of going down quickly

Yeah my mum knew I was infused in alcohol but I don't think she knew I was drunk

I smelt like an alcoholics ass tho when I hopped into the car :/

But fuck it 

Whatevs

Had a nice chat with mum today, It was very sweet, she looked very pretty before she left for that baby shower

Ok let's see, I've been blogging a lot, I like it, it's like a convo with myself, but it's not, it's with you cass

I've been going through jesses blog and found photos of me I never knew existed which was nice

I like going through her blog cause I remember my own stuff in 2009 and 2010 ect and then I see her world during that time period and it'll overlap sometimes which is very lovely

Uni is well.. Tomorrow FUCK 

not really pumped, but I am, but I'm not... It's my timetable man it's Massive cock and a half

like, im glad i know how everything works now and how to structure my study

and im beginning to think i might not go to lectures anymore..

but i like making friends

but i hate TRAVELLING T O UNI UGH

i have to wake up at get on the train at 7:30 as well, i mean, fuck that shiit man

in other stories i wish i bought this skirt

it looks so fun and funky dunn it??

i love trying on clothes

with my mum

cause she buy it for me

most of the time

she didnt like that skirt

man i just realised im all do and no say

esp when it comes to  the quote "I NEED A JOB"

maybe i should just be a fucken waitress 

im thinking of being all smooth and heading to cafe-ism on thursday to grab a cup of coffee and draw a bit maybe

see tibo 

be all subtle and mysterious 

and hes prob gonna be like, "why didnt you call me"

and im gonna be like "ive been busy drawing"

and hes gonna want my number and ill be like no

and leave cause like, i have one lecture in the afternoon ooooo im a bitch

i mean he was a creep, wouldnt tell me his age! trying to kiss me like nigga please calm the fuck down

pufft 

oh yes i want a tattoo, and most of all i want to get one with e

im thinking of getting a flower

this flower, on my chest or on my foot

its gonna hurt so much on my chest tho

but its gona be so visible to my parents on my foot, maybe i should jst get a septum man

oh and ems! 

i saw this picture and thought of you and we should have a date during the summer!

i still want to have that picnic with you and want to go to the beach

and wake up early

and not drink coffee

and drink like, minieral water and be healthy and eat sandwiches with avacado and eat little fruit things like that and head down the beach in tiny bikinis!

and you should wear a bikini!

lately ive been loving my body

even my chunky thighs, i love them

thats why i was wearig my little shorts at trinhs and taking off my pants at the beach at windang, i finally accepted my body, i mean i still want to gym and all, but whats the point of hate, im only gonna get older and begin to regret the reasons why i hated my young body and fresh face cause it always happens

love myself now and ill love myself forever

thats why you should wear a bikini ems, fuck your little shorts and got all out babe youre sexy and beautiful and no one can take that away from you!

BE LIBERATED GUUURRLL MMMHMM

oh and before we head to the beach i want to make (or find) a bikini like this

isnt it cute? yeah i really want it, oh and i can extend it to this

and wear it over that bikini with the same pattern and be like, woah man samet thingy with the thing

im kinda sick right now cass

(fuck you Jess, collin and eeh (and maybe marcel))

and i had a cup of tea and i cant sleep

OH OH OH EMILY

lets henna! the night before beach, on our sexy young bodies

im excited i am i am heheheheheh

and i should sleep

ok goodnight cassie

here is a picture of me and marcel i found on my mums phone

instead of a quote ill give you a joke

what do you call it when batman skips church?

christian bale

Hash tag previous tweet

I forgot to mention one valuable thing at Wollongong cass!

So Andrew finds this worn out fishing rod right and begins to play with it

As displayed behind a very lovely picture of Emily Tea!

He begins to aggressively smack it on the ground while I take photos

Out of nowhere something flys past us, it's the turny part of the fishing rod

It goes flying through the air and its hella sharp and hella dangerous and it could kill us I mean pwoah

It just totally misses us

And we lecture him

We get home right, by home I mean Danny's house but its home to me!

And I go through all the photos and find this one

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? 

Nope

It's the thing that could've killed us all

What a laugh cassie, wish you were there

Day in and days out

Mondayy

Masterdons with the familyaaaah

We can't get enough of houses we can never have

Oh so here's ikea 

And here's masterdons

Great weather! 

And v fun 

Um that night we went to a view in castle hill (?)  and I didn't end up getting any photos

But this one of Danny

Got home at 11:30

No one was awake and plus we all decided to go Wollongong

Tuesday

Wollongong

BBQ. Beach. Friends. Park Call (;-)). 

And like, I somehow managed to stay awake for and hour on the ride home

Then we went to Huynhs house

Hung out with me favourite boys ;)

Came home at 7:30

And still got a lecture!??

I might as well just come home late to avoid everyone, the only time I do something right I get yelled at???¿¿?

??¿¿$$?(6:($

Wednesday - my day in!!

I drew all day, made nachos, watched doctor who and Malcolm oh and skins!

And now for a spam. 

The chair my parents got me actually works, I'm spending all my time at my desk, not using my overheating junk of a MacBook Pro  and really getting down and dirty with my iMac

And I'm drawing drawing

I don't care if I mentioned it before

It feels great to draw because I'm experimenting with colour pencils

Ill show you my rubbish ones to my favourite ones right now

(Ill give you before and after shots as well to show you my... Progression)

And my  egon schiele inspired work!

AHHH and I love my table to much! The view and the rush of things and my minds just going and music is lovely and everything is just serene in that moment 

And 

And then I look back at my bed and

 

I love how everything is so cosy and fit for me I love everything

Only when I draw

It keeps my mind off things 

And drama. I love my friends. I established that at Wollongong. While they were all scurrying away ready to get home I took a step back and just watched them. We have our up and mainly downs but fuck it. We're sometimes good company and it reminds me that I love my family? I don't know what I'm talking about all I know is that my shitty friends are amazing for somehow managing to keep up with little ole clumsy idiotic not knowing when to stop speaking old me. 

Now here are snippets from my super secret diary!

I think e was still drunk in this photo (that's e by the way on the bottom) this is from my birthday, we're on the deflated jumping castle

I've decided no to post anything about melb cause meh cbf 

Oh and I really liked what I did on this page of my diary 

I covered my entry with shells I found at the beach! :)

That pattern is real easy to do, just put a shit load of dot everything and connect it! Fun!!!!

and i reckon sporty spice had the best voice out of all the spice girls!

I hope that no one ever leaves,
'cause I don't wanna be alone with me
-The Wombats - Here comes the anxiety (im pretty sure ive already quoted this but fuck it i love this song!!)

Oh who needs distractions?

I'm in an actual good mood cassie

Things look hopefull

So today or should I say yesterday, lets see

Woke up late and it felt like poo poo

My mum came home from shops and got me a Pluto pop for breakfast!

It was 1 pm at this point

Then we went to the shops

Me and my mum and Fairfield

We got some clothes and bread and I crave nachos like crazy so I need to make a list of things I need to buy

Ok I need to clean up my room, prep for next sem! Lets do this!! I passed everything!!! Even history!!!!!!

So well done to me no summer classes

WOOO chola 

What was I talking about?

Oh shopping with mum for hours it as nice she got fruit I'm really happy about that

I got me some pretty stuff

Went home

Got some hungry jacks! A bit of family bonding which was lovely!

Jess calls lets bake a cake!

And we did for Kar foos (Andrews) birthday! 

Oh when we went wollies they had tomato soup cans which were mimicking andy Warhol 

Love it

And now..

We know he hates spicy things so we decided to put salami into his slice!!

Fuck yeah! Well hidden!!

Oh and the salami looked like a man eating pizza

Can you see it

So we got to drews house on time and I kept him distracted and he punched me on the face! (No I didn't happen to bump into it, he hit me!!)

I got into his Instagram and finally uploaded pictures into his account

Happy birthday assface 

Eventually we made him eat cake and he said it tasted like bacon!? 

Ee came over drunk from kelvins

 and tag alongside arrived

We all had a chat then left

Again happy birthday ass

I just wanted to tell you cass I'm happy (and I did the right thing)

Peace out Cassandra!!!!!!!!

Lots of love! LOL! 

Wait here are gays looking at gay porn

By gay I mean lesbo

And it's so funny cause all I can head is

"She's fat"

"She's not fat! Look at her"

"She's fat!!"

lol oh the homos

Ok now bye, maybe

Ill see how this day goes, it's almost 4 am my mums gonna be pissed if I wake up late! D:

Ok let me continue the post actually, I'm having breakfast with my family then were heading to ikea, fun family day out!! My parents love it when I talk about Cambodia!!!

and yeah we went ikea then office works then coles then hairdresses and now im finally home

haw haw

im gonna end this post

and im sleepy

and got new furniture! fun!! what a tiring day!



The ashtrays full and I'm spillin' my guts 
She wants to know am I still a slut - Otherside - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Distract district

I keep looking for distractions

I know what from but I'm trying to confront my problem but its running away from me you know what I mean?

I've solved half of my problems in the expense of another persons feelings because I'm stupid and jump into things too fast and I'm stupid and I'm sorry and I just want to die

Another story, people or should I say a person is pissing me off

I will say no more

So my distractions

It involved ee

The first distraction

I snuck out of the house at 12:30 to go get tommys, it was closed so we went to muster moose or whatever and we got a slushee (ok I got a slushie) 

And then we got a snack box and went to Huynhs stayed there till 3 and then we headed back home (sorry again Danny for spilling the drink) 

(Ee is under the blanket)

We left, as mentioned and went to maccas cause hungry jacks was closed

We sat at the car park eating chips and blasting led zeppelin, tbh it was really nice and serene and Would be worth the lecture if I was caught

I wasn't by the way

Got home at 4

It was fun

Second distraction

Dinner at milanos with

Huynh, ee, willy, ems (lovely to see your hair), Jess and that's it

We pondered about life and eehs gaydom ;)

We talked then went to what the fudge

It was nice

Oh yeah

And we headed back to Danny's and played bloody oath

Now that was so super duper fun!!

The next day, the confrontation/distraction I think that was redfern?

I don't even remember anymore I'm really  braindead

Walked around

Had a chat

Was left alone at a park

So I just laid there in the grass for an hour or half I don't recall I was just staring at the sky

I wanted bobby to come by and comfort me but that butt face takes 2 years to get ready

At that point when he was dressed an ready to leave

I was at a cafe across the street

Cafe-ism

I might work there

That's when I walked in and there was only one guy there he was French and he made me a cafe latte 

And he kept me company, I wanted a tart but it was 3:50 so I was like fuck that and he was like

Just take it it's on the house

He kept me company for the rest of the day cause I didn't want bobby to go all the way to the city to console me

I told him what was up cause strangers are the best to talk to 

He ended up giving me his number, which was weird because he must've left me outside written the number and knew he wanted I give it to me cause it was on my receipt

I donno I met his boss and he told me to hand in my cv

They were both French 

Then the French dude brought me to see his art and he bought me a drink

And I made him pay for my train ticket home

I dot like it when people buy stuff for me cause I'm not worth it, in this case, fuck it

He wasn't a creep per say, he was just. 

I don't know

Was

Expendable? Is that the word?

Fuck him I don't want him in my life might as well make him buy me stuff- Jesus listen to me

But I dono 

He looked at me like I was a piece of art even though I felt like shit, I was comforting I guess. 

He was nice. He knew i was sad and loved art. I left. 

Distraction 4

Gyming

That was actually fun

Ok not really it hurt

I hung out with marcel cause he was sick and I brought him to the doctors

I ate red flame then............

Then I went gym with drew  (bad idea for fatty chicken)

That's what my face was like when I work out like no

I've noticed I do more things when Drew isn't staring down at me

Like I did a lot of squatting thingos

We had noogi after and he was in a weirdly good mood it scared me but kept me company and laughing I guess

Mai called-  drew picked up. She wanted to hang

Drew told Mai to call me to see if I wanna hang. 

Mai calls me. 

Drew picks up and thinks he's a Master comedian omfg. 

We pick up bobby and Mai after. Go to his place. Go to Thai. Go to garrisons point. Then I went home. 

No wait. After garrisons!

I was like OMG lets to WYNEEE house

And drew was like

Where is it

And I was like the next left and he swerved at it was actually her street lucky us

Oh yeah you see those clothes

They're drews and I look like a massive lesbo in it, 'twas funny cause I was wearing gyming stuff and my shorts were super short

So I had to change

Today. Distraction 5. 

Blood donation 

Saving people one step at a time with Danny

Mai and bobby slept at drews house and eeh was hungry and so were the sleepover party so we met them at rasheys

Danny and I walked after donating blood cause were legends

And we just ate

Walked around livo

Made Andrew wear things

Then went home

I was bummed cause I was full of energy and wanted to hang more but noooo

So I went home and took at horrible nap

And now I feel

Like crap cause I can't sleep

So now lets see what distraction 6 is gonna be. 

I miss my mum

She kinda hates me now

I kinda hate me too

I'm so grungy

I wanna shower but the timeee

Sigh 

Hopefully tomorrow will keep me happy for longer 

G night for real this time cass

I love you for listening, people rarely do that

Oh and my eye stopped twitching, I was just sleep deprived

And it's a lot to ask her not to sting,

And give her less than everything

Innocence and arrogance entwined 
My mistakes where made for you - the last shadow puppets