I'm still hoping to say "we were best friends since year 8"
Having a car
Driving that car
Having a weird amount of paper and pens and drawings in tht car, and furry dice hanging on the review mirror of that car
And finding it funny every time
Having my parents actually trust me and not calling me up all the time
Allowed to stay over the night, two nights, three nights
A part-time job
Dyed hair
Expensive clothes
Piercings and tattoos
Fat bank account
(At the rate I'm going I might have 20,000 in my bank account)
Living in a bigger house
Being fit
Being happy even
That's my illusion of 22
Getting out of this phase and finally trying to be a grown up, a happy grown up
Seeing my brother, Saphearak, complain about his second year in uni, he's 20 and he is slimmed down but still quite tubby and has a sweet quite chubby girlfriend, they're obviously gonna get married, they play games a lot and she and I go shopping, I get to know Saphearak through her, I feel like I know Saphearak through her
Marcel is 14, he skateboards to school and back because he doesn't want mum to drive, pimples but really tall, dark but handsome. I force him to do drama and he hates it (not) Miss Kenna loves him and tells me about him, he wants to ask a girl up but he's too shy, I try to help him but he won't let me, he's more open than Saphearak ever was
Mum, I hope she looks old, still tries to look young, actually promoted in her job and less days of work but she still complains, she asks if we want another brother/sister in your life, because her babies are never home, marcel rolls his eyes
Dad, starts his own business, and stops complaining about his bad back, he gives up on his hair cause balding has literally taken over, not a single hair on his head, only on his face, loves mum more than ever because he's happy with being his own boss, she is more ok with us cause dad keeps her company
I hope 22 is beautiful
I see you in colours that don't exist- Paul Matsumoto
and the tears are pouring and i want to make it worth the fight what have we been doing all this time baby is we're gonna do come on do it right
why am i listening to gwen stafani at this time am i right?
oo and a change up with the quote being in the front yeah cass?
awesome
so yes i have been listening to a lot of electronic lately like ta-ku and xxyyxx and even some flume, not to mention hip hop like biggie smalls and ect and also old songs i listened to in 2006so thats been cool
the only chances i havent been listening to them is blasting it in eehs car, he literally drives me everywhere now, i feel like ishould buy him dinner only cause andrew and jesss drives put together dont even add up to how much eeh has driven me
good on ya for keeping up with my company
usually people give up on me by now haha
dont worry itll happen eventually
youre a very patient person e :)
so yes, why am i awake? i dont know
i just dont want to do anything
i should be studying and i will tmr i swear
if i wake up on time
im excited for tuesday cause i am going to do a bunch or errands for myself and try and feel like a grown up not to mention the fact i am working inbetween those days
work is awesome because it is a distraction
when im overworked i am tired and when im tired i am way too tired to be sad
man i have overworked the word tried in there
get it?
no ok, welp, people are posting again and it is really making me happy haha
i have been watching a lot of parks and recreation lately i dont know why
i want to be creative, its a yearning and at time like this (3 in the morning) my self esteem has hit an all time low like it usually does, im not sad ive just been feeling a bit edgy lately like something is missing
ok i might be a little sad because of that, but i try not to think about it
sometimes my brain hurts when i listen to too much music, i know, isnt that impossible
April come she will by simon and garfunkel is so calming, it reminds me so much of the graduate, but then again simon and garfunkel did write the whole soundtrack for it
i love old movies, i feel like ive stepped in a whole new world, like by old i mean not now like even 5 years ago it makes me laugh
just the clothes setting effects jokes themes politics in the movie even
i mean top hat was such a joy no one understands, the set is so obviously a set and the effects were laughable and the fashion was mind bobbling not to mention the means of entertainment back in the days, it was MUSICALS like wow its was such a good movie
then the graduate, the fashion and the poeple and the uni and it was just lovely to watch, and fucking blow up thats some crazy avant-garde shit
OMG i went to go watch catching fire, fucking amazing seriously as good as the first
but i wish katnisss hair wasnt so black, it was like pitch and it was brown in the first
i hate it when people dye their hair from something bright to pitch black and is like OMG back to natural
like no brown is more natural and really dark brown, its so overwhelming when they dye it comepletely back its scary haha]
the only thing im really excited for is next year, i mightve already mentioned that this year was overwhelming for me like its just painful
i want to improve myself, maybe change my room around, buy new furniture, get shelves and just empty things up its so clustered and buy new things
Danny told me it feels good cause its an illusion of productivity'
HOW RIGHT YOU ARE MY FRIEND HAHHAHA
you sir are amazing
oh lets just mention some of my new years resolution, first of all they may hold in the hands of 3 people
Andrew- Health, he always complains about my health, habit and thighs, and so maybe with his constant babbling i can eat healthy, stop eating junk food, start cooking for myself and maybe even gym or run of just "feel better inside" he claims :)
Danny- Study, frankly he scares me and tells me im stupid in a very womanly empowering way if that makes sense, he focuses on study like crazy, and hes very um,.. clean as well so that might also help BUT maybe he can change my poor, very poor, like REALLY poor sstudying habits and get my wam much higher
Eeh- Shutting the fuck up- he is the most important person in this operation, unlike emily im the opposite of private, i think its a result from being in the kik cause ive never properly been in a group ive just had boby but yeah, he is going to help me privatise myself and just stopping
so yeah thats one of my missions next yeah AND OH IF DANNY DOESNT MOVE TO WESTERN SYDNEY AND EEH GETS INTO UNSW WE WILL ALL BE THERE AW YEAH
so before next year if i have time off work or the beginning of next year ima clear my room, get new things and have these boys make me and better me cause i hate me right now oh and i need uni friends badly but sandy is coming along well like seriously shes so cool
she gave me a lecture and she told me funny storys and we shared maccas and she said if she were to get me anything for xmas she would get me a popular penguin book, oh how lovely is she??
OOOOO
let me add something else
this is something i found on tumblr
things to start doing:
drink more water
carry a camera everywhere i go
read more books than i already do
go for walks
do yoga more often
go to bed earlier
enjoy the little things
go outside more
stop comparing myself to others
stick to my goals n stop putting things off
write down my feelings
smile more, especially at random people
isnt it lovely?
must do! i must remember this post.. and clean up my room, i mean its clear just CLUSTERED
#stress
i feel just overwhelmed
why cant i have money
lets talk christmas, im excited to get gifts. i have huynh, bobby, jess and claudia sold
i just want the joy of chirstmas and drinking egg nog as a chaser
or maybe ill drink wine all night
oh thats something else i wanna do
drink wine quite often
with cigars
not wait thats whiskey
man whiskey is nasty
man
gin ugh
omg tequila, YES and and green fairy <3
god some poeple are asses
i love and hate
i should sleep
good bye
kisses
this video understands
“maybe if i drink another coffee, i will feel better”
“maybe if i buy myself a new sweater, i will feel better”
“maybe if i get so drunk i can’t see, i will feel better”
“maybe if i sleep for fourteen hours, i will feel better”
The diary of Frida Kahlo: An Intimate Self-Portrait
body chain
cat eye glasses
blank books
Moleskin journal no lines plz
(snez since you specialise in makeup, i need foundation and concealer, i have no idea how to pick it out for myself hahaha, oh and do you know any good lip stains?)
Maid costume (ok not for sexual purposes {entirely} but I wanna wear it while cleaning up my room, you know, for encouragement)
charcoal and sketching paper
above knee high socks (black or white plz)
those white socks which are like calve high and have stripes on the top
denim skirt
proper garter straps, black, im a small, im sure of it
fuckng hair ties
CURLING IRON
checkered shirts
band shirts, led zep, pink floyd or <arctic monkeys preferably the logo with a union jack>
black (not all over, laces and sole still white) high top chucks
red vans
no beatles things unless its revolver on record, but eehs gonna get me that so no bother :) (((RIGHT E)))
most of you must know the boots i wore in high school, sadly i can never find them anywhere cause they are out of stock but if you find me something like that i would love you forever (they are like pretty high tops unlike those tedious combat boots, these are a mans bots son)
evil eyes and hamsa bracelets
So like, I went shopping at basement books at the end of the uts exist at central and well
I usually don't want people to buy me art supplies cause they usually get the shotty stuff and I can't use them and they're no good
But since art supplies are fucking expensive, ill show you what I want :), in all seriousness if you get me a bunch of water colour paper you will make my life cause art will never escape me, it's a talent I know I have and not many others can carry and so I feel special so I hope someone gets me a collection of these papers
The larger the better and the tougher the better because as you may not know the paper is thicker so it doesn't bend as easy, if you easily get me 2 or 3 of these you're set for life, I also don't mind small, I love all sizes cause it doesn't matter, what matters if how you use it ;)
WTF is this you might say, as this, my friend, is an art box, it'll just hold my basic paints and yada yada, I like being organised especially with my art supplies cause some of my things are sharp and I accidentally cut myself
Oh god yes and not to mention
PAINTS, THESE PAINTS ARE CHEAP AS AND OMG
JUST GET MY THE PRIMARY COLOURS AND BLACK AND WHITE OK!?
NOTHING IN BETWEEN CAUSE I CAN JUST MAKE MY OWN COLOURS
Visit Collin @ Hornsby and pretty drinks and A fucken good milkshake
Day 2
Went to v lounge wif the babes
(Eeh,dan,will,drew,Jess)
Day 3
Hornsby again
But with more blokes! (Including em! !! )
And then
CARDS. AGAINST. HUMANITY.
Day 4
FISH MARKET!
Jess,Hellen,bobby,eeh
Then fondue at Coles
Day 5
So I had snack pack w/ col & jessics
Hung @ huynh w/ bobby
Mais bday got to see -Eric,ems,Wynee,EMILIEE
Then back to Huynhs house for some
Hardcore gaming
Day 6
Did nothing, home day, sleep, no eat
Day 7
Boring most of the day but by the end went driving with papa and that was fun and then I hung out with col Jess and eeh watching pretty woman <3
Collin was tired after work
Day 8
Beach with the awesome foursome
And eeh
Then back to bobbys new board game w/ ems and ja
Day 9
Shopping with mum!
'twas very good
And then snuck out and went bowling, I was really bad at it
With the awesome foursome again
Huynh,babe,mars,bobby
Day 10
Went so flee market with Jess and eeh, was kind of a let down cause too hot and no good finds
Went to cindys
Many people dere
We played
Card games and ball games and it was very fun
Day 11
Hung out at jesses, and went home early and bummed all day
talking about bummed
not really excited for uni but i realised if i finish my assignments now i get like 4 weeks doing nothing
no more assignments so im gonna get my ass on that tmr
haha!!
and Luke wants me to go octoberfest and i want to but ive been really pissing off my mum maybe its time to calm down
oh and sticky fingers soon haha!
and the halloween party im so excited, hmm if luke gets back to me on october fest ill really consider it haha
i might go end of session just for the fun
im really gonna miss them if brit leaves next sem
awww
its like a new group of people every sem i hate it!!
i want brit and luke and clara to stay and i just want uni friends and aww they live in a neat area and im so bummed i can never see them cause they all live 2h away
oh wells thats life i guess
nothing goes your way
and im really annoyed that my mums getting annoyed that i go out too much
shes always saying i changed how i used to never go out
well what can i do mum? im 18 then 19 then 20 when are you expecting me to leave!?
im so bored and home and its so blooming unhealthy for me cause all i do is sleep at home!
and i never eat
im killing myself there i cant help it
and really need a job
i have to find one for DURING uni like seriously cause i wanna make money while at uni but nooo oh gosh i need to look up that scholarship that miss medina told me about so i can maybe get money while studying and i need youth allowance and why is everything about money seriously im sick of it and if dymocks doesnt call me in im gonna be so fucking depressed
siiggghhhhhhh
bye
In this deep hole of shame I‘ve got secrets buried In this deep hole of shame there is no one to call - Pieces - bonobo & cornelia
well i wrote that last night and well i went to my first uni party with my uni friends
it was actually pretty fun cause i got drunk but then i slowly became sober and tired and shit so that wasnt that fun but i found energy eventually
so lets see....
I didn't finish my essay due that day so I skipped my tut to do it and I ended up coming late to uni and I missed my lecture so I kinda took naps all around uni
I then met Luke at whitehouse
There was a girl who sang alright at roundhouse and we just sat outside and he had a beer and I had a cider and I made newspaper hats for the shipwreck theme
a guy at the bar actually complimented them lol
Brit and Carla then came and we all just kinda talked and their friend Grace came
She was really pretty and twas cool
We met with Luke's friend and I can't remember his name but he did environmental science
We headed off to roundhouse and met these other science blokes and had more booze
There was this really beautiful German girl, like her parents spoke to her in German and I asked her to teach me something and I couldn't pronounce it and I wanted to learn "you can't speak German" so I can annoy bobby :))
And yeah we lost Brit ect for a bit but found them and I went with Luke to meet his brother for punch
We headed back to whitehouse and we met his bro and his friend from highschool
We had captin bloods punch which was really delish and that guy in the unsw signs wwas there and another Asian guy and some guy who did media and decided to do physics as an extra topic and realised it wasn't really like highschool physics LOL
WE all mingled and made bad jokes
The others left and it was me an ladies again and I cbf to keep going but
That was me Brit grace and Carla
And there's Jackson an Brit again, education gang
The reason why I'm sad is cause Brit is planning to take a gap year so we won't be in classes anymore and I yeah I really love her you know?
The roundhouse is real nice, they had 3 djs
Here is the inside one
They played doofdoof music and I think Andrew would of liked it
OH AND I MET A GUY NAMED KEVIN
He is tall and Asian
Anywhoo
I liked the dj outside cause he played soilder by destiny child's and we danced loads
And the discoball was nice
And tam was there
Yeh that's all I really wanna say
ily guys oo
Holiday has started
Look at my pretty drink, tht guy is drinkin it lol
We went to visit Collin
'twas cute seeing him work
Yeh
I was like work out and work and I want money and I want to be free
Bro
Cause basically i, i just wanna ride with you I gotta get you, cause i just wanna vide with you -The Internet - Dontcha i just got deja vu
Hot cakes (or as eeh, rejecting the the social norm calls it, cold cakes)
Hot dogs
Wanting to throw up
Jess Collin Danny then bobby
Yeah
It was so fun cause we went house hunting and we kinda just all became really critical and went past the ugliest house
And yeah we all met up at eehs eventually and we played games but I had to
Go home :((
Next day did nothing till the party which I fucked my parents over with
I had fun cause I was buzzed all night and I didn't even take that much
Shot of green fairy
A wait till slightly sober
One jagger bomb
Three tequila shots
Danced all night and I got to see Claudia the woman I love so dearly
Sadly jens couldn't come
I saw kitty cat tho and eeh and I fell on the floor trying to take pictures
B4
After
Fun times oh Claudia I was so happy I see her
Then I just kinda flopped around and danced and I was stable but I liked to pretend I wasn't when I was given attention then I would melt until I was yeah nevermind
And they yeah i got really angry and my parents got angry and I just it's hard to explain
I really pissed them off and the next morning I almost got attacked by a magpie and I had I dream I did and weird cause I'm sleeping all day so yes eeh and I didn't get to go to the record fair and I am now really REALLY upset cause my rents
And I hope I can go midsem party
And I should be studying
And so I end my post I guess
The 3 days were actually shit -actually first was good
i really wish itll all get better by next week
And I'm like bleh
Love you guys, don't be stupid like me
“The world didn’t get worse, homie, your eyes just got wider.”
"CONDOMS ARE CHEAPER THAN BABIES" "Cry Me A River So I Can Swim In It And Laugh" I fancy you with a passion, you're a top shop princess and a rockstar too I Would Probably Adore You With Your Hands Around My Neck I Would Probably Adore You With Your Hands Around My Neck and he shows me, he knows me,every inch of my tar-black soul You Lock the Door and Throw Away the Key. There's Someone in my Head. But its Not Me.. Elvis where are you when i need you most? White comp sequins, jumpsuit ghost I want you to be crazy cause you're stupid baby when you're sane Can you see what you've done to my heart, and soul? It's such a wasteland now.
Interpol You're Not the First Person Who was Ever Confused and Frightened and Even Sickened by Human Behaviour -Mr Antolini From Catcher In The Rye She may contain the urge to runaway but hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks -Breezeblocks by Alt-J (∆) the goose bumps start to raise the minute that my left hand meets your waist and then I watch your face put my finger on your tongue 'cause you love the taste yeah - Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood
in school i was the one thinking outside boxes
so everybody in them would say that i got problems
so when i heard you say it, i said it back like fuck 'em
Tyler, the creator - Colossus
I’ll wait, so show me why you’re strong Ignore everybody else, We’re alone now -Retrograde by James Blake Glazey and numb. He just turned up the volume. And drove faster. -Perks of being a wallflower (i cant believe in quoting it)
I don't need them
And they don't need me
I guess i'll go home
Try to be sane -Tame Impala; Why won't they talk to me?
Our love comes back in the middle of the night-James Blake - Our Love Comes Back Southern trees bear a strange fruit, Blood on the leaves and blood at the root, Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze -Strange fruit - Billie Holiday Hello, the hype is so mellow Bitch I'm dope but my pipe is so yellow - Odd Toddlers - Tyler, the Creator listen to the song the beat is so chill Our hearts beat so loud the neighbours think we’re fucking when I’m just trying to find the nerve to touch your face. -Andrea Gibson, “Pansies” i love you when you're singing that song and, i got a lump in my throat 'cause you're gonna sing the words wrong-Riptide - Vance Joy (thanks bobby) Whoa, won't you let me hold you, dear ? I want to just put my arms around ya, like the circles going 'round the Sun. Let me hold you daddy, at least until the morning comes.- Janis Joplin - I need a man to love
I got a little money and i got a little fame
Still smoking everyday to ease my mind and maintain
Addicted to success all i wanna do is gain
Drug with ambition i can feel it in my veins
-Domo Genesis - Boss' Life (if you have the correct speakers the bass is super rad, and this song is so super chill i love it, ive been getting into rnb and rap its crazy but awesome)
Slip it in her drink
and in the blink of an eye i can make a white girl look chink
-Fish - Tyler, the creator And everything hits you in the end And spoils your thought stream My heart got a hold of my head And ripped it to its seams -King Krule - Bleak Bake In her eyes, there's a flame that burns right through my soul Can't pretend to be cool, about to lose my control Yeah I know she's got plenty; admirers, she's got many Like an exotic fantasy, into a frenzy she sends me Wow I have to sit down, and gather my wits now I wanna caress those hips now, wanna kiss those lips now- Plenty - Guru's feat. Erykah Badu
And it's a lot to ask her not to sting,
And give her less than everything
Innocence and arrogance entwined My mistakes where made for you - the last shadow puppets
The ashtrays full and I'm spillin' my guts She wants to know am I still a slut- Otherside - Red Hot Chilli Peppers I hope that no one ever leaves, 'cause I don't wanna be alone with me -The Wombats - Here comes the anxiety (im pretty sure ive already quoted this but fuck it i love this song!!)
what do you call it when batman skips church?
christian bale
Any nigga can kill a man, that dont make you a real nigga, real is responsibility, real is takin care of your muthafuken family.-Real - Kendrick Lamar
As we are floating in the blue I am softly watching you Oh boy your eyes betray what burns inside you
Whatever I feel for you You only seem to care about you Is there any chance you could see me too? Cause I love you Is there anything I could do Just to get some attention from you?-Woodkid - I love you (the french chick showed me this song, isnt it amazing! i fucking love it, i mean i cant even write one verse of it!)
“I want to kick love right in its gut Beat it and leave for dead Wash my hands in the river Lie down and die in your bed” - Ryan Adams, What Sin Replaces Love?
His face was not of that brown rusty black which most of that nation are, but of perfect ebony, or polished jet. His eyes were the most awful that could be seen, and very piercing; the white of 'em being like snow, as were his teeth. His nose was rising and Roman, instead of African and flat. His mouth the finest shaped that could be seen; far from those great turned lips which are so natural to the rest of the negroes. -Oroonoko: or, The royal slave - Aphra Behn (1688) 99 problems all gone in that one joint And the neck gold froze like he held it at gunpoint "IF I CAN'T HIKE DRUNK, WHY HIKE AT ALL"-Me, (well "apparently" danny helped me with that joke) I always thought it was a shame That we have to play these games It felt like you really knew me Now it feels like you see through me -the xx - Sunset
"If they don’t like you who the fuck cares."
— Sara Quin My weakness for the other sex Every time his shoulders flex The way the shirt hangs off his back My train of thought spins right off track -Amy Winehouse (who i am so obsessed with now!) Amy Amy Amy (Outro)
