i have to blog 5 times this month and its already the 9th so fuc lol
i found this picture lmao wtf am i right?
i am in a very weird place right now. i have spent the past 2 weeks off
at first i thought it was futile are just though hey i should really be working my money is going downn
but it has been a really reflective time for me and i feel as if my 2 choices are really slimming down
but i havent decided anything yet
this all my seem very ambiguous but i kinda jst want to talk
my head really hurts and i am trying to clear up my room
i am trying to find new ways to be happy
and deciding that i want to do next year
i def know i want to do something related to art
im not sure what yet but my body has been kicking into that direction
i get really frustrated with myself sometimes
cause i love myself
but really hate myself
like and i know the reason why i feel this way is cause i am sick
but it just feel so heavy
and i want to be proactive but i cant
i just wish i wasnt so sensitive?
i feel like if one thing goes wrong i combust
its extremely frustrating
anyways i keep trying to think of different things to do next year like hobby things
and i am thinking of trying to learn a different counties cuisine every month you know?
like curry and ramen around the winter times and pho and stuff
past during summer cause its cooler and that jazzz
but just things that i am trying to look forward to so i dont end up killing myself hahahahahahaha ..
but yeah i dont know im trying to find the passion and energy to do things but everything just feels so futile and frustrating
i just feel like i am backc to my old self and i dont know what to do
anyway i have been watching a lot of friends
it is awesome
i am going to get off of blogger now before i make myself more depressed
haha sorry for the horrid post but i am desperate to get up to 5 now haha