Excited

Ok im not really excited 

well i just wanna make new friends in uni!!

so how are you?

i havent been at work for about 5 days and im off the rails

i havent been on an outing for 3 days and im completely brain dead

all ive been doing is watching malcolm in the middle and dancing to music

and when im at home i dont eat!!!

there is seriously nothing to eat here

uggghhhhhhhhhhh

i need structure in my life, and a job was it during the post hsc period,

huh

i guess you do miss the things you hate!

now lets discuss the few days of nothingness

Malcolm is pretty good

ive been getting  into more techno rap music lately

its weird

i stood up for acoustic music and epic riffs but times are changin

sure i still love my fair share of Tame Impala, Led Zep and Smiths

but Flume, Frank Ocean and Purity Ring is where its at

its so soothing and great music to just chill your mind out

the cage of a home has also frazzled my imagination and promised my mind some rebellious shit

and therefore i miss her

oh her, her, her

the light to my fire that causes anarchy, 

i need to be lit, i need youuuuuuu

oh how ive missed you and we barely talked the last time we set eyes on each other

my ride or die girl, the girl who holds all the keys to anarchy...

man i really need to get outisde before i do something drastic in this house

why do i have a yern to break the rules?

is it teenage tendencies or just pure evil, a trait im burdened with??

hahaha

i wonder why i was voted the most dramatic

you know whats a pretty sexy?

the line "whats your poison?"

OH GOD YES BAD BOYS

oh here comes my rebellious side again~~

now lets get something straight, i love bad boys, bad badddddddd boys

just imagine a tall hottie with a history in his eyes and a sleeve only made by ink imprinted on not only his skin, but his soul

smoke rings escaping his lips and a grin which only means one thing

his tattered clothes a dodgy car whisk you away to a night of crazy rioting and sheer fun

knowing youre breaking the system and freaking the shit out of people

ahhh 

isnt it weird how..

howw

i love 

to

fuck

shit

UP!

loljks LAW4LYFE

Long time no see huh?

Helloh mah readash

its almost a month in the new year and i still havent written anything on this thing

its cause ive been really busy with work and errythan, swear!

nah fuck it cbf rght now

happy mew year

CrushCrushCrush

Now lets discuss crushes
bastards

I havent had a crush in a while and id be lying if i didnt say i had one now

well la-di-da its a dead end

now lets discuss the horribleness that takes place in having a crush

not that im obsessive..

ok maybe i DO get a bit obsessive

but then again doesnt everybody?

from what i remember from having a crush, and im pretty sure that many teenage girls have experienced this

you feel like everything you do, they see

every flaw

like i feel like once theyre on like msn or something you kinda want to  immediately talk to them

but you dont because you dont want to seem obsessive or whatever

just hoping theyll start the conversation

so instead you distract yourself

opening lets say, other tabs or going on sites constantly refreshing it to find something that will take your mind off them

but in the back of your mind you know you can just type "hi" and your stress will be all over

but then you think

oh god, am i annoying them?

and youre in this cycle of distraught until you realise that they are no longer online

depressed youre like

oh god why didnt i talk to them?

this goes on for so many days that eventually you two never talk anymore

and your relationship shatters

not really shatters

thats too dramatic

more wilt

like the rose on a summer day! 

then eventually you never ever talk anymore

and you regret so much

gah

then you think

what if someone was like that to you?

youre causally online

and someone on the other end is fretting about you?

that they say "hi" to you and you see it as nothing and you merely reply with a "hi"

and they took up so much courage just to do that

absorbing each little thing you say like a sponge, looking for signs if youre interested or not

and its like

it sounds so obsessive but its true

this is what emotions fucking do to us

ugh but ive had worse, much more stalkerish attributes to reveal

like facebook stalking!

considering everything they say as a sign that they may like you back

at one point

but i let it fucking slip

our convos shortened and he barely replied anymore

and every time his name would appear on my

...


"social network/messenger"

i would just stare at it

hoping he would talk to me

but he never does

sigh

oh what a world

why cant..

i just..

ugh

you know??


What if i did go to that outing with him? what if i talked to him? what if? what if? what fucking if??????

oh the single life

its fucking sucks.


man i finally got over him too

for some closure i deleted his number
our texts
our photos

i had to record the number of days that i DIDNT go on his facebook

i didnt think about him for what? a year? 2?

now it has come back

he was so cool

man

fuck

life sucks

seriously tho

there is no such thing as love

only obsession