Hi, haven't blogged in quite ze while
I'm feeling a bit low I don't know why, ok I might know why but I'm trying not to think about it
Yesterday was a nice day, didn't start off great and didn't end great, but the part where I got to see Danny and Eeh was so nice, I really really missed them.
I've been around Jess, Collin and Drew for so long that I needed a change of pace (those assholes like ugh ;) )
I woke up late again, it was 12 but I tried to get out of bed, but I really didn't do anything, I really wanted to clean my room and I still haven't
It was nice waking up early today and not feel so sleepy, even though I kept going back to bed which is really bad, it's the weather man, if it wasn't cold and if I wasn't so sad I would get out of bed easier
I really want to put the song " grown woman " as my alarm so I can wake up dancing but I'm afraid I'll be so sick of the song that whenever it plays I'll get annoyed
That song brings up my mood though it makes me so cheery
"You wanna know how I got it like that, cause I got a cute face and a booty so fat"
Then the song gets all dancey it's so cool
I'm at merrylands now, I'm on my way to work
I'm kind of excited cause I want to go to work, I always don't want to go cause I want to sleep and do stuff but when I do go, seeing my co-workers and talking to them is so nice, and the day goes by quite quickly and plus I get paid so by the end of the day as I walk out that building and onto the trains I feel so serene
Talking about serenity, I feel upset that I didn't get to say happy birthday to tian LOL
the whole day I spent trying to tie our inside jokes all together and then create a lovely happy birthday message but no I kept thinking and thinking by the time I was on her wall it was 1am and I feel like such a dog
She was wildly significant to my high school life, she was the light of my day hahaha no joke
I never ok I'm at granvile
Anyways I never give time to my friends other than kik
Eg I was meant to go ikea with Jens and see Sues new house over the holidays but no, I felt a bit ill (then again I got some serious back pain) and even Caitlyn invited me out but I kept rejecting, I'm just never up to it anymore
I need a car hahaha, ok I need my ps
I'm all talk and I know it
It's my body, it slows down my mind
I wish I could fix myself and be the person I want to be, I can do it but I'm in the way
My heavy body and heavy mind really set me back a couple of steps to a better person
You know what makes me feel great? Art, painting.
I feel like that's the only thing I'm good at, naturally good at.
If I didn't have retarded Ms Simpson as a teacher I might be in cofa now, wearing a maxi skirt and a red lipstick talking about post modernity and it's effect on the avant-grade, a movement so significant it is the main influence on my art
Ok at parra ttyl
Now I am at work
Miss pap just came in wtf lol
I ignored her idk why but yeah
I'm already in a better mood, I should love work not hate it, sigh i hope I get things done when I get home
I'll write again in my break
Ok so I didn't write in my break instead I sat with my coworker just talking cause I'm so lonely at b2
Jess told me she is going to pick me up after work, that'll be nice! So I don't have to be alone and think and stuff
Ok I noticed every time i blog I'm a mope
Let's talk about something else
Like how exciting things are going to get like
Arctic monkeys on Tuesday!!! How exciting!!!!!
I can't wait to see Alex turner in the flesh, too bad our seats aren't that good ;( but still it's better than not going!!
After arctic I'm going to the new sound wave thing whatever it is, apparently it edm and apparently I'm going to get so fucking drunk!!!!!!!!!
Before that I might meet Britney at Marys burgers, it was so good and fatty and yum!! I went their on Caitlyn's birthday
So good, they played Metallica all night, I love Metallica now hahahah I'm such a poser
Let's see
I have Chet faker and splendour coming up which is going to be awesome!!
Bobby makes me want to buy new clothes for it bleh money money money!!
Maybe I should sell my shit
Maybe I should get another job
Maybe I should clean up my room
I need a vacuum cleaner
I currently have to read this book for my modernity class called the heat of day which is really good so far
It's like how I would write
Looking back at art, I love painting
I'm getting into acrylics so I'm really excited to understand it
Maybe I should move on to pastels for the cardboard I use for the paint
I need canvases
I should set my priorities straight
I think that's the first step to do, know what I want and go in that direction
But I want so many things
Too many things
I think I should have some alone time
For reals, I need time to get back to my family and study
I know I keep saying it
Man I'm even a let down to myself
I'm in such a slump.
I hope Jess and Collin this afternoon fix me, help me
Hahah
I feel a but better now, I guess I needed company
“I remember crying over you and I don’t mean a couple of tears and I’m blue. I’m talking about collapsing and screaming at the moon.”
| — | The Avett Brothers, Tear Down the House |