So for the past few months or so i suppose i have been reading CATCHER IN THE RYE
i love the book dearly, i think it has to be my favourite, i never really had a favourite book but this is a winner
it is a saturday and the second last week of school has finished
it hasnt effected me i tell myself
or has it?
a twinge of teenage rebellion has hit me recently and i dont know why
is it the fact ive been good at school and i feel like its time to change that?
is it Holden Caulfield because i now want to model my life after him
Everything he says i feel like i understand, his conversation with sally, saying all those things about leaving
and that he truly meant it
i understand dearly
i tend to say things to people with optimism and they look at me kinda funny and i realise what i just said is extremely unrealistic and so i say jokes
And when he keeps mentioning he is so very lonesome and he just wants someone to talk to oh how i understand and when they dont listen and call him immature! i just understand so dearly!
when he talks about Allie and James Castle it breaks my heart
it was a fantastic book
So anyways lets talk about my rebellion
On Sunday a mate of mine sister got married and a number of mates went to the wedding
it sounded smashing and i was jelly
i wanted to party
i felt so locked and isolated while i sat in my bed
so lonesome
so i just realised that i wanted out of this boring mundane life
so started wearing my clothes different and wearing the wrong shoes at school
i know that isnt "badass" or anything but i kinda wanted to be told off
so anyway it was a tuesday and i DID NOT want to go home
i know that i would just sit there and do nothing but stare blankly at my fucking laptop and wasting my life away i wanted to be a little wild, rebel
i said FUCK THIS
and decided to hang wit tha boiz
Danny, Eeh, DOOF and i walked to canley hoping to go skate boarding but the dilemma is
we didnt have a skateboard so we were talking about what we should do
soon we realised we were right beside a liquor store
so we went to eeeeeees house so he could get dressed
hung out a bit
then off we went
we didnt know where to drink but we were
i guess
kinda desperate
someone had a lovely idea and we went to davids house
at his house we had a nice drink and sorta partied
it was really fun, snez stopped by it was great
and so i went home
my dad was PISSED cause i forgot my phone that day and i claimed i was locked out
i could tell he was waiting until my mother got home to tell me off
when she did he was bitching about me to her and she said
cause i planned myself
that i called her, well tried to, through a friends phone
and thats enough trust from her
so i completely got away with everything
that was such a fun day
Thursday came along and i was dreading to go to maths
luckily the counsellor wanted to see me!
YAY I WAS FREE for a period
then after our session i was going back to class but saw trinhity at the corner of my eye
RUTHLESS i exclaimed as we began to chat
i sat there for about 5 more minutes until Michael and Fadi appeared and stroke up a conversation
they persuaded me not to go and so i spent a whole period not in maths
one of the best decisions of my life
the same thing happened the week before
i was off at counsellor
(wait let me just tell you about how much of a bitch my stupid fucking art teacher is, the counsellor called me up during her class twice and she was like "YOU CHOOSE THE SESSIONS DONT YOU" fucking bitch i fucking didnt. cunt. anyways she was like "so you seeing the counsellor?" and yeah i was like yeah and she was like "You feeling a bit stressed?" and wasnt gonna answer that nosey bitch so i just nodded and she was like "WELL THATS LIFE" fucking bitch cunt man she doesnt even know the real fucking reason just ugh i wanna slap her so nosy ok back to the rebellion story)
and while i was walking back to class Claudia, Molica and Jenny were sitting there like mermaids
calling me with their song
and letting me drown in rebellion
but i did eventually go to class
that is all i suppose
it twas a nice week
i think school ending is hitting my now
how upsetting
You're Not the First Person Who was Ever Confused and Frightened and Even Sickened by Human Behaviour -Mr Antolini From Catcher In The Rye
and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something