well i have been studying for trials
bleh
and i think its the time of the month again!
because
i
am
feeling
rubbish
HAZZZAAAA!
im feeling lonely again
lonely and isolated
detached from the world
i feel like im breathing but im breathless
there is this tightness in my chest which knots me into a deeper more upset state of mind
dear god i hate myself
i tell myself its just a phase and i'll know itll past but why not vent
do you ever just
have this kinda moment
in your day
week
month
life
where you just want to block out the world
its like i just put on my earphones
chose a song with a slow rhythm and lyrics that is supposed to mean something but you're too sad to notice?
put it on full volume that even other people can hear from those tiny beads in your ear?
and the music just takes you far away, more like blinds you
deafens you from thinking
its way of telling you the world is ok
i dont know
thats how i feel
i wrap myself in blankets
sometimes even sit in a tiny wardrobe having clothes cascade me and im blind, touch of the fabric are my only sight
and i feel like im far away
not here
anywhere but here and i feel fine, i vent i let myself fall venerable for that one moment
then back to reality
its like it never happened
back to a smile and jolly old me
but inside im still sad
its still ties my down andd sinks me
i guess im just good at hiding it
and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something