Dear god i want to become an actress so so so sosososoososososoososososos bloody bad!

I just





i just want to do it so bad but i constantly feel like my mother is going to hate me for it

I love my mum very much but she has many negative traits

I think her worst one is


she cares too much about what everyone else thinks!

my dad is the exact opposite so i thank god!

I was just, you know doing some chores

and my dad said something


he was really proud of us, my brother especially for working really hard today

because my dads a builder and my brothers helped him today (yes they were paid)

And my mum was like

"whats the point! not one of them made it to selective! None of them are smart!"

and i'm just like

omg wtf

bdfjksvbhjstfvbhdv she is just constantly comparing our family to this other

and it made me so depressed because i really really want to go to a theatre school!

but i know shes


going to be horrible about it

she just wants to impress her friends through us

shes always talking about this one friend who had a really smart son
or bla bla bla for fuck sake its just

so depressing

i just want to run away and pursue my dream alone, but i have no money

no one to stay with

i feel like if they did allow me to go to the school

theyll constantly treat me like a disappointment

everyones just like "JUST DO IT"

and im like NO! you dont understand

everyday just she expects me to go to university

and i would love to go

very much

its just i feel like i have going to follow a mundane unsatisfied life

I want to be an actress

not for the fucking fame

no just no

because its something that makes me happy

something i feel i do actually quite alright in

everyday i feel like a failure but when i act i feel like i can be someone else

push my emotions to another direction

that the  beauty of acting

becoming someone else

oh dear god why did i have to be born creative?
why did i have to be born Asian?

dear god why does everything have to suck to fucking much?

why cant i just make my mum proud?