hi me again,
lets talk burn out
I am meant to be doing reports and I have been doing nothing for the last 2 days. I can find the energy to do ANYTHING. I am depressed and tired and I just want the term to end.
I havent felt inspired for a very long time and I feel like I am about to explode
I love my job sometimes but i also really hate it
there is a really terrible imbalance at this school
some people work their arses off and some do the bare minimum and live off of people who work so hard
I dont mind doing this work but please give me time to do it and let me do it with competent people
I dont know - i feel tired all the time and I am fucking sick of the drama at work.
I
DO
NOT
WANT
TO
BE
AROUND
PEOPLE
WHO
HATE
THEIR
LIVES
OR
ARE ANGRY
look i dont know but bro good vibes only. i feel like I cant have honest conversations with people. I feelsooooo full - like I am over pouring. I am really struggling to keep my head on. I have so many things to do and I am doing a lot of favours for people
last year i wouldve been so happy and excited to be doing the things that I am doing - but if it is a one off thing. Not a 3 times a week on top of teaching and on top of admin stuff.
I can handle the ordinary stuff - what i CAN NOT HANDLE is people making my fucking life harder
I love the attention and the validation but its getting to the point where I cant do what i said i can do and i am disappointing people
I am just so tired
I just want to teach
I want to see my students
I wanna sit in a room with them and talk to them and show they literature that I love
I am sick of making casual work and doing other shit that I don't get thanked for
i am sick of working so hard and having people fucking USE ME FOR A FUCKING RIDE
not only are they using me ANDDD using my name - they arent even saying that i am doing all the fukcngidzngonlgj eodib WORK
I dont know i am getting real sick and tired of running the show and having other people it was them
then they give me a half smile
a half thanks
a half apology
bro can i just get my reports done
i just want
i. want. time.
i want to hang out with my friends
i want to have a godDAMN FUCKING SINCERE CONVERSATION
i just want someone to listen to me
i dont want to listento anyone elses crap
I want to cry and cry and cry and scream and shout
and i get so mad because i feel like people OUTSIDE of work also dont understand the fucking hardships I have to go through, all the goddamn work i do.
I dont know
i just want to be appreciated !
thanks for listening to my rant
pleaase ask me how i am LOL
side note
I miss u bobs, I wish i had more friends who loved art as much as I did
i wish i had friends who liked my music and tv shows
I want to talk about cool shows and chill music and i want to hang with people who dress in hipster clothes and go to museums and have an outer body experience when looking at a piece of artwork for too long
i dont mind going with andrew
but its not the same
i want to go with someone who understands its
and really feels it
and understands me in that very moments
im just feeling uninspired