havent blogged in a while

you know whats frustrating

depression bleh LOL

i was talking to a m8 of mine who has it as well and i was like "it came outta no where! i woke up and i was like welp i guess ill just die" and she was like yep i guess its something we have to live with

Like i was so hype before this happened, its was like what- 3 weeks ago i was sending postive vibes, i was gonna do yoga, i wanted to meditate i was looking forward to LIVIN

but then out of no where i woke up and the sky was grey, nothing had colour, and my heart was heavy. Its very hectic. and frustrating.

And i kept trying to pull myself out of it, i kept trying to think postive thoughts, do good things but i felt like i kept getting knocked down

you just eventually get stuck

bad things kept happening

like my foot, my fine, my brother, peanut getting ill, having to de sex peanut, my money falling out of my pocket, having to quit my job


it all him me at once, and this morning, or yesterday i dont recall suddenly the sky was blue again and i was out of my head. i felt relieved but also a little mad. I dont know whether i pulled my self out of the depressive rut of whether or not it just subsided.

like do i control it/can i control it or is it just like the weather? where i have to wait it out?

im not sure



so that happened, but i am out of the rut now i guess. im kinda trying to be postive and be proactive, maybe start writing a resume

who know, i just felt like i havent blogged in a while.. I also need to start painting and doing art. try and get an instag following you know?

I am also slowing trying to get back into teaching, very slowly. working my way up there haha


well bye now i just wanted to babble for a bit