list

i dont know if you can tell but i love writing lists, it soothes men, i just feel like now i know where i am going and it calmsssss me

i am currently in a panic mode, my assignment has been extended to friday and i dont even know if i can make that deadline

my dad out of no where told me i need to pack before tomorrow

wtf wtf wtf wtf wtfwkfgn wirlgubyhjr



WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO

I HAVE THE ESSAY,
BLOG POST,
AND REFLECTION DUE
NOT TO MENTION THE LECTURE SLIDES
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

issues

I'm depending on people too much again

So for breakfast today i had 

1. cereal
2. milk tea
3. a single slice of toast with butter

i really need to stop doing that, depending on other people

i dont mind depending on one certain person because they depend on me too

but i feel like im adding pressure on people who don't need it

i think during the study period i am going to focus on myself, and my family as well as my studies

i really want to get back on a diet, and by diet i mean just eating healthy 

i can really feel the bad food now and i miss being less bloated LOL

i am meant to be studying but i just wanted to blog before i go out

i am going to go to customs

i really hope i get a car, i really hate depending on wynee for her car for gym, i mean she doesnt need me to drag her down, i must really be a pain sometimes

i also need a car for teaching, i am going to go, for a full 4 weeks, to a school to teach

holy shit i am actually going to become a teacher

its scary

anyways am really a horrible and selfish person, my family really does not deserve to have me around

reasons

1. i am never around
2. i am not helping with the new house
3. i complain
4. i buy food but never eat it and waste money
5. my rooms a fucking mess

im just really bad

oh also, i really need to stop bitching, holy fuck, its all i do now... i took a step back and i felt sour, i keep trying not to but i keep letting my mouth run

yep another issue i have

i let my mouth fucking run, i am not trustworthy man fuck 

i need to fix myself

also, everything feels surreal, nothing feels like home anymore you know

i used to feel safe in my room but now i just feels like another place to sleep

sleep has been hard due to the heat

and the mess

once saturday hits i am going to pack and shit yeah

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

 I JUST WANT MY LIFE TO BE TOGETHER FUCK

ok ok okokokokokookookokokokkokookookk

no more complaining, lets do my work

emily dickinson and edith wharton here i come 

you get that look in your eyes and im done

that look - flume

wilough

hi im distracted and i totally have a willow smith obsession right now

https://soundcloud.com/dhatu

she is so talented

https://soundcloud.com/kittycash/willow-smith-8


can't handle


everyone should listen to her music

i also did my timetable

i;m doing all education courses

im pretty sure im doing curriculum stuff

ily

 Can you see the words rolling off my tongue, you got the touch baby because you're the one. I can taste the smoke rolling off your lips, I inhale, see the stars and then I smell your kiss. Show me, show me your galaxy.