So... i wrote a song

Yes mon frere

I, Maria Chan, wrote a song

a love song in fact

can i just say its very personal to me and i dont know how else to express my feelings
they are real i can tell you that

i feel like i let my heart out on paper
This song is practically my heart on paper
well not paper
a metaphorical paper
called the internet

dont tease

This is love ok

its love

love

dude


its love



ok

Here i go

My love song

My passion, my everything, my heart on paper. Sigh here goes, i cant believe i am letting people see this
its basically my diary in a song. It may reveal you know, who/what my heart belongs to

btw i cried writing this



so embarrassing


My Love by Maria Chan

I see you everyday
And i just can't keep myself away

you're fabulous, amazing
and oh so.... entertaining

I see you everywhere i go
You're always on my mind..... oh no!

Your Smell

Your Look

Your


Taste



I LOVE YOU! and everything you do
I WANT YOU! I hope you want me too
NO! I NEED YOU!!!! Cause without you i'll just DIE 

no seriously because

FOOD!!!!!! You're my one and only love
OH FOOD!! You're obviously sent from above
DEAR FOOD! I really want you!  I really need you!

Inside

Of

Me!


       You know what food? You're fantastic
yes you are! I mean i love you more than Kanye loves Kanye
you're there when i am lonely
you're there when i am sad
you always make me happy
even when i am mad..

OH HONEY PIE! OH SUGAR!
my little marshmallow
my little cream
OH PUMPKIN
OH YUMMY
OH DELICIOUS
oh no...          you're gone.....

    - no wait, I ate you!-

OH I LOVE YOU! and everything you do!
I WANT YOU! I hope you want me too
OH HOW I NEED YOU! Cause without you!
I'll
Just
DIE!

Food! youre my one and only love
Oh food! you

Dear food!

I really want you

I really need you

I really love you







food.








                                 


Ok, i cried just reading this
i mean i just love food so much i get emotional

so now you guys know who i love

Food, i fucking love you

Mmmmm look at you all sexy and shit

rubbed in oil

you get me so hot

i need you inside of me

now. 

Dont you think life is so odd?

I think the government chose the worst time for people to do HSC

I mean during your teenage years?

Really??

I mean we are so hormonal and indecisive (i think...[see what i did there?])

I think all teenagers are delusional,
no i dont think
i KNOW

I guess you have to be delusional to make it through high school

you see what a pessimist i am?

well its true
I mean when you become a teenager you immediately think
HEY i am an adult now! i deserve to be treated with respect

and yet we do such silly things and act so childish

We dont see how hard it is to make a living
we just want to live now the with privileges that only thirty year old should have

we are all so stubborn and selfish

we all plan to live our dreams but never really set a path to reach it you know what i mean?

people dont realise how much they depend on their parents
we have it so easy and we just dont realise!

I mean sitting here right now i regret so many things and i want to start my life over because i didnt try

I feel like its too late, but i am still not trying

I want to tell myself its never too late, but there has to be an expiry date

Damn me and my procrastination skills


And i feel bad because i dont really want to live the average life

Everyone has the ability to choose two paths in their lives
The easy path: One is the average cycle of life
The rough and dangerous path: Change the world and live your dreams

In our years, being teenagers,
we look in the future, thinking to yourself, i want to change the world and make it a better place
live my dreams and be happy all la-di-fucking-da

the sad thing is, not many people make it that far, they fall into the pit hole of the mundane lifestyle

Get a stable job
Getting hitched
buy a house
buy a car
having kids
hoping their kids dont end up like them and would change the world

But it is an endless cycle of never ending solitude

Those few people in the world step up and slightly push the world into a better place

I mean when we were kids did we care about recycling?
no
Do the kids now care about recycling?
FUCK yeah!
You see? the world might eventually become better, its just gonna take a long time but we have to keep going


The path i want to take is the rough one, extremely dangerous, the path where many people eventually turn around.

The path i want to peruse is my "dream career" path.

I am a Right-Brainer

I have to admit i am not smart but i have a shit load logic

I am a creative type

I love music and art and acting and self-expression!

I see things not many people can see.

I want to become a theatre actress in the UK and also a painter

You can already see how Delusional i am

I want to go to a theatre school but my parents wouldnt want me too

so my alternative is to go to uni and study "media and communications"

Teachers say its perfect for me

so i guess thats good

Then take a gap year in the UK or Europe!

try and kick-start my acting career

if that doesnt work out, back to australia i go and join everyone else with breeding

woah just typing that makes my heart sink.

I want to be an actress to bad

Its like being another person

Having people see you in another way

the thing about actors is that its kinda scary
under that character is a whole other person

I think thats why i love acting
people are easily fooled into thinking youre someone else
Its like lying for people entertainment.

and its acceptable.

 Dont you think life is so odd?



Or is it just me?

First day, to Last day of week.

Oh dear
Oh lord

I am so sleepy right now, Having Yayo by Lana Del Rey sing me to sleep

First day of school

It was a tuesday so it was over quickly

once i stepped out of the car it was like nothing changed

like there was no holiday

I feel really bad because i really dont like my Art practical

Ive be experimenting more with watercolour
and finding more influences/artist
and i really hate my art prac
its just so muddled
and forced
like miss keeps telling me to add more!
my style is just generally
obviously rough lines in pencil of a nude women
then blobs of paint to give is life and colour
i like that look
its simple and really calming
and the fine lines really show off the effort and techniques i use

But with my prac now i feel like its not really my style
like i am trying to hard
and it pisses me off because its "never good enough" for miss

And miss also forces a message we have to bring!
I chose Mental-illnesses and i am just so annoyed
combining my artworks together to make they seem linear is so difficult
because when i paint my head it just in another world (well jesus that was corny)
But in all seriousness i am fucked up the ass for art

This was one of my first artworks, its finished now but i dont like my result

the simple pink corners are now harsh red dabs

AND miss keeps telling me i need to erase the pencil

and its like

the basis of my style

how the fuck

i just

i am so depressed.

But now things have changed!!!!

Ive shown miss my "personal" works and she loved them

she was like "these are a million much better than your actual works, i actually like these"

I dont know weather its a compliment or an insult LOL

well lately school has been a blast, its weird

I am really proud of myself with Drama both of my test 17/20 YAYAYAY

and i was only one mark away from emily in one of the test

the year is getting better and better :)

But the only problem is me

i need to start doing some work at home goddammit i still havent done my hospo work :S

I should start now AHAHHA

yeah i should

QUOTE OF THE DAY

You Lock the Door and Throw Away the Key.
There's Someone in my Head.
But its Not Me..

    -Pink Floyd