2023

This is going to be a longgg post with 300+ photos so brace yourself hahaha 

Happy New Year  

Who I want to be

 I am currently listening to 

Just to feel something

I have a lot of thoughts in my head, in a way I am inspired, but I wish i had the time to be inspired 

I didnt realise I was junk journalling 

https://emmcee-teenagedramaqueen.blogspot.com/2019/05/scrapbook.html

I just came home from Taiwan and Hong Kong and I had a great time with Andrew. I do feel inspired. I really want to Junk Journal!! 

I should also finish my 1sec a day. 

I just wanted to say Hi and hope that one day I will blog again. I love memories 

avoid

 every year I watch this one video by Rachel Nguyen 

I usually watch it within the first week of the new year and before the new year. I feel like I am a very hopeful person, a realist but hopeful

this year- well really, last year, the last few months have really REALLY burnt me out, 

i wanted to write a post called a love letter to lock down during the lock down and when i was working from home but i just didnt - and now i regret it. 

I really found myself during that time, remembered who I was, I loved being alone with myself again, but when i got back to work, everything came back and in a crazy crash of an unstoppable wave, 

it was like all the self growth i had was drowned away and i was left alone in the middle of the water, trying, just trying to hard to keep my head above water

I hate work, i really do - again not the students but... the anxiety, the comparing, the people. I cant stand the people and their dog eat dog mentality

I threw myself into the game and now i want out but its tooooo late. 

I hate disappointing people - but what about peopke i dont like

i feel like im being bullied into a corner

and no one put baby in the corner

joke idk i have been trying to avoid people, anyone 

i want to be alone, but now i am avoiding myself, who i am 

i have just been playing animal crossing non-stop and i know ive been running away from. who i am and who i want to be or who i need to be?

I want to be on top of work- i am very behind

i want to leave, i cant stand this schedule 

i cant stand all of this 

god there are so many things ti need to do and every day/ night i ell myself tomorrow i am going to do it and then i dont, i put myself in this cycle of animal crossing

i hate it, it makes me sick, blind and stuffy 

i need to stop, but i hate myself too much to stop. so i guess now, i need to watch that video :/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVMjy36dOkk